Chocolate Emergency

Five Sparrows

[Note] Thank you Air Cee for your super excited comments. :)

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT

Five Sparrows

"The happiest people are sometimes the saddest. They hide their hurt so others won't suffer the way they do,"  

One Month Later

Sometimes it feels like you're standing on the edge of a cliff.  Every small action pushing you closer and closer to the edge, the tiniest of winds feeling like gigantic storms. One wrong move, one wrong word and you are sent tumbling down the cliff into an ocean made of tears. This is when you've reached your breaking point.

It is the time when vulnerability is at its peak. You're heart is naked, unarmed. You're walls are down and someone might just sneak past them, right into your heart. 

It felt no different today, seeing that it was my eighteen birthday.  A lazy Sunday sun greeted me, its light filtering through the blinds. I jumped out of my bed, pulling the blinds upwards. 

"Good morning world," I spoke to no-one in particular. In response the sun, shone brighter, its warm rays muzzling across our cozy neighbored. The roads were empty; cars were parked by the front while people slept soundly in their beds dreaming about better futures, shiny cars, lustrous money, and some –maybe- dreamt about hopeful loves.

I, on the other hand, didn't dream of anything. Dreams abandoned me a long time ago, the more I try to grasp for one, the faster they slip away, blurring my thoughts.

Make a wish they would say when I blow the candles on the cake.

But what should I wish for?  I would ask.

Whatever your heart desires they would reply.

I would end up with a muddle of thoughts. What should I wish for? Should I wish to be better at painting? Or studies? Should I wish to be a interior designer? Or how about to become a famous painter?

But my heart didn't desire any of that.

The only thing it wanted was happiness and its happiness lay in one certain person. It longed to bring that person from the gates of death. It longed for mom.

~*~*~

Silently, I approached the breakfast table, dad sat in the furthest corner his head buried into the newspaper. Liza ate her favorite strawberry cereal, grimly, the shape of mouth turned downwards as she stared intently at the framed picture of our family hanging from the wall opposite the table.

My stomach grumbled, I placed a hand on it-in the hope of hushing it. Just few more minutes before I shut your mouth, stomach pal, keep quite till then.

"Err...good morning?"  I greeted, standing at the head of the table, my hands resting on the chairs edge.

"Morning sis," Liza smiled that forced smile which would even make Barbie cringe.  "I made some pancakes for yo-"

She was cut-off by an icy, cold voice. "So you finally decide to grace us with your presence," Dad gave me a bitter look, his face was burning with a harsh red color.  I could literally feel my heart jump out of my mouth.

He tossed the newspaper on the floor, his hand finding a yellow envelope and throwing it towards my face.  I caught the envelope in time before it could poke me in the eye.

My hands trembled slightly as I lifted the flap; a crisp, white sheet came into my view. It had my high school's watermark.

To the parent/guardian of Alice Brown,