Chocolate Emergency

Eleven Stars

Song: Northern Lights by Cider Sky

Eleven Stars

The football team had left the field, leaving me and Oliver in the cold air outside, alone. The bleachers squeaked as I shifted my weight from one foot to another.

Oliver watched me, expectantly, as if he expected me to confess my undying love for him but that wasn't going to happen. I never saw him in that way. Yah, sure he was everything I wanted to be but that didn't mean I liked him.

"I-I Oliver you and me no, I can't" I was one hot mess. My face felt all hot and prickly. I couldn't even look Oliver in the eye.

"Save it," He said, his face too a light shade of pink. "Pretend you never heard me,"

"I can't do that," I bit on my lip to stop it from trembling. This was too much for me to handle. All I wanted do was run away from here and bury myself in a castle dreams. I blinked my eyes several times to stop the tears from coming out. They left my eyes nevertheless.

            He noticed this; his stormy blue eyes were drawled together in confusion. "Why are you crying? I'm the one who got rejected,"

                        "I didn't reject you stupid," I shoved his shoulder. He almost tripped from the stairs but he caught himself quickly. "It's just I'm not ready for this and I think you know the reason,"

            He laughed, wrapping his arms around me. I rested my head against his shoulder, chuckling to myself. "This isn't the first time you've told me that,"

            "And this isn't the first time you've confessed. Darn, but it gets to me every time," I bit back, the smell of his chlorinated hair sinking into me.

"Well, I can't help wishing you'd finally give in,"

            I pulled away from him, a frown settling into my features. "I can't Oliver. I'm so sorry," Yes, I've known that Oliver liked me for a long time. It all started in our art class when we were in middle school back then I wasn't the outcast I'm today.

Things were different then. Oliver and I were literally joined at the hip that's how much we stuck together. I used to be an all 'A' student while he was an average one. He confessed his feelings for me at our eighth grade dance but I told him I wasn't ready for all of that because it didn't feel right. I don't know why my heart always got panicked whenever I saw him. It's like it was pushing me away from him. I liked him yes but only as much as I liked Sandy.  I figured that I wasn't ready for any of this love business.

            Things changed after we came to High-School.  A tragedy in my life pulled me apart from Oliver. I began distancing myself from him. I no longer could bear to see him. He was everything I was not. He shone like a star while I fell apart like a comet. The main reason why the distances grew was because I was scared. After mom's death, I changed. Guilt consumed everything I had. I could no-longer be around people without vainly wishing that could be me if I weren't so messed up.

            The reason I was surprised  today was because I never expected Oliver to still have feelings for me. I was an outcast. He was a star. We simply didn't gel together anymore.

            "I can't believe you still like me," I whispered, tugging the sleeves of my sweater.

He shrugged. I had a feeling he didn't want to talk about this. "The feelings kinda came back after Sandy told me that you're staying with that freak,"

He's not a freak I wanted to say but I bit back on my tongue.

         "You know after..." I trailed off, not wanting to complete my sentence by saying my mother's death.  "I just don't want to have any sort of relationship,"