Chocolate Emergency

Twenty-nine Always

Twenty-nine Always

I took a deep breath in, hoping it would unravel the tangled knots inside my chest.

            In a dark haze, I lifted myself off the bed, his hand slipping away from mine. My hands feel the walls for the light switch. Light fled the room.

            My eyes are closed, my breaths are rapid. "You're right. I do not love you,"

I hear the shuffle of bed sheets, the heel of his shoes mocking me as he stands up to leave. Devlin would have left. Almost.

            I grab his wrist and push him against the wall, right beside the closed door. He should have been be shocked. Maybe he was but damn, was he a good actor.

            "Mr. Impatient, what's the hurry?" I laugh. "Oh, wait. Do you have another meeting planned? Oh my, Mr. Perfect. I don't think anyone will mind if you're a minute or two late,"

            I tightened my hold on his shoulders, my fingers were buried in his flesh. There was a slight smirk, a confident smirk twisting his lips upwards. I know he was angry. I could feel his fist against my thighs, I could see the vein throbbing in his neck.

            My eyes begin to water, I can't look at him. I don't want to look at him. I don't want see that beautiful light in his warm brown eyes, the eyes that had watched me fall, laugh, and fall in love.

            "You're right. You're not the man I love. He's nothing like you. He would never hurt me," I let go of Devlin and turned my back towards him.

            The wind flew from the open window and twirled around my skin, hanging there like a gymnastic spinning through hoops. My heart felt like a circus, a circus without light. My senses were turning my insides out but they weren't amazing me. They weren't of any importance anymore.

            "I've seen his soul that beautiful soul which can't possibly hurt anyone. I've seen his tears, his fears which he hides constantly. His father scares him yet he stood up to him for my sake. I've seen the fear crawling under his skin when he held my hand in front of his father. He has his own scars but he'll never let you know he's hurt. With a bleeding heart, he'll fight for you, he'll fight to bring a smile on your face. That is the man I love,"

            The first tear left my eyes. I know the storm wasn't far. It was approaching, the tsunami of emotions I had bottled up for the past four years were barricading against the dam I had built. Cracks were beginning to form, more tears left my eyes. Another piece broke, the flood was almost here.

            "Every night, in the flames that consumed my mother, I see you. You are my phoenix, Devlin. They say if God stole something from you, he'll give it back eventually. He has a strange way of repaying us, doesn't he? He brought you into my life,"

            The room was spinning, maybe just maybe, I was the one who was actually spinning. I could feel my knees give up on me.

            "Alice!" Devlin exclaimed. I felt his arms wrap themselves around waist, steadying the tumbling the tower.

            "I'm fine," I pushed his chest. "I'm fine."

"You're not," Instead of removing his arms, he tightened his hold.

            I laughed. "You're right, once again. I've never been fine."

"What happened to your mom?" He whispered. I met his concerned gaze and smiled.