Ill Conceived Plans

A bump in the road

SARAH got up late, unusual for her, but being cold and sick (not to mention pregnant) had worn her out, she needed the rest she had a busy day/night ahead.

Dane wasn't back yet. But then she didn't expect him. She would think this situation would be a five-kilometre run problem and would call for tough beach terrain and not the easier to negotiate run through the town. She knew she had time for a sleep in or at least a rest before he was back. They were practising avoidance at the moment, early sleep rather than talking and running away and playing dead instead of facing things.

It was how they dealt with the bumps in life.

And Bean was definitely a bump now.

The cards were on the table, they both needed time to adjust and ponder.

Usually, she'd go hit the gym or she'd go for a run herself. But her body was still adjusting to all the changes pregnancy was forcing on it and her schedule hadn't changed just because she was pregnant.  She was working long days and long weeks but getting tired more quickly. But she finally felt like she could breathe again, for better or for worse, everyone who needed to knew now. More importantly, Margaret, Thena and Dane knew and she hadn't been thrown out of the family or treated like a pariah. Well not yet anyway – quite the opposite in Margaret's case which was more than a little scary. Thena would take a while to adjust but Dane, the man at the centre of all this, Dane was an unknown quantity.

Well, he wasn't really.

If she was a romantic, which she wasn't, she'd be hoping for him to sweep her up in his arms, tell her that he loved him and that they could all be a family together.

But she was a realist and she kind of knew what was coming, expected it. Sure he had his unpredictable moments but they were rare.

She stretched and yawned and looked around the room.

It was weird being here, sleeping in his bed – all with his mother's permission – at her insistence even. She'd been in the room often enough over the years, playing cards, listening to music, hanging out with Dane. But it had never been her room and it wasn't now. She was just borrowing.

She could imagine at Christmas time he would bring Sabine and she'd be back to the kiddies table, hell she was a kiddie table at the moment. Back to sharing with her sister unless she snared a man between now and then.

Yeah, no.

She didn't want one anyway but particularly not one that would be attracted to a pregnant woman.

Her life was complicated enough.

Okay yes, in her head she could see she and Dane playing happy families and doing the happily ever after, but that was really an unwelcome and unlikely thought.

As much as she loved him, yeah she could say that to herself. She wasn't sure that it would be enough. They knew each other backward, but she didn't think their lives were complimentary anymore – once upon a time yes but not now. She was too set in her ways. A baby would be a huge adjustment, adding a man, any man, would be another bridge and maybe a bridge too far.

She hauled herself out of his bed and looked in the mirror. Bean hadn't grown overnight again – she was sure it had last week. But it seemed to be behaving at the moment – waiting to suddenly turn her into a beach ball when she least expected it.

She sighed.

It really did feel weird being here.

"Well this is daddy's room – don't get too comfortable," she said patting her tummy.

God – Daddy?

It was hard to think of Will as anyone's daddy, he can hardly look after himself let alone a baby. Okay not true, he's a big boy and handles his own career well with the help with management, personal assistants, and PRs. But his life is all about him, he'd worked too hard for it not to be. Hers was similarly all about her (and Shakespeare) and it was the worst possible time for her to be doing this too – approaching the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare's birthday. Too much to do already without Bean along for the ride and yet Bean was along for the ride.