Yes I Was A Prostitute...

Ch-9 I WAS LEFT ALONE AGAIN

It was twelve thirty at night. All were asleep and hopefully amidst their dreams. There was pin-drop silence in the locality. Only the street dogs barked occasionally. Even the street lights weren't working. It was a good opportunity for me to run away with Manoj. As per our plan, I was waiting at the back gate with my belongings. I was wearing a pattu saree with golden border which was my favorite. Moreover I had tugged mogra ( white) flowers in my braid as Manoj loved them.

First time in my life I had dressed up for a man, the love of my life. I felt very enraptured to start a new journey of my life. I saw Manoj coming. With stealthy footsteps I, clandestinely unlatched the black gate so that no one could hear it. Next moment my hand was in his, we looked at each other passionately and ran towards the main road. The station was nearby. It would take us hardly ten minutes to reach there.

As we walked, suddenly I heard a loud crack followed by a sort of whine and beside me Manoj was crying with shrieking pain. He was shot by someone at his back near the spinal cord. I was shocked to see him lay on the dark road with dim lights. His grey shirt was greasy red because of the blood which flooded the area.

My white saree was also red by now as Manoj laid on my lap. I saw two men approaching towards us as I cried deliriously. I could recognize them effortlessly and to my shock, they were from the brothel. It meant I was caught. But how did this happen? How did they come to know about our plan? I am unanswered of those questions till date. I felt immensely guilty and broken. Because of me Manoj was enduring so much pain.

He held my hand and looked towards me fervidly as if seeing me for the last time. I kept on crying. The fact that my love was batteling with death was unbelievable to me. One of the men again shot on Manoj's chest. This prone him to an acute pain which was very agonising. His lips were chapped and dried and he was breathing heavily.

I felt extremely dreadful as i saw the peeping toes of his covered feet which were strangely spread and the fingers of his gentle hands, now widely spread on his bloody chest were likewise distorted. The dark discs of copper coins closed his laughing eyes, his kind face had become livid and i was terrified by the glint of his set teeth. The men stood there with apathetic expressions. I shouted at them in a helpless tone, i stood up and pushed them with all the might i had which had intensified, as i saw my beloved dying.

I kept screaming for help until neighbors came out with sleepy eyes and curious faces. They saw me mourning, they saw him drawing his last breath, they felt our love, they noticed my vexation, but none came to lend a helping hand. No one could pluck up courage to fight the beasts. Manoj shrieked with pain and called me. My sweaty hands were in his red palms. My eyes lamented and i neared my ears to him. Manoj passionately whispered "Don't miss me. Be happy" and then he took his last breath. His eyes were stuck to mine when he breathed his last wish.

I kept looking at his tranquil visage until the devils pulled me up with a thrust and tried to tie my hands. But I revolted and forced my knee into their dicks. Then I threw two hard brick towards them which lay near the building under construction and then hurt them with a shovel at their chest and banged on their heads when they tried to molest me. their heads were inundated with blood which made them senseless.Then, again sat beside Manoj's dead body. I wasn't crying anymore. Though I was shattered but my eyes controlled the tears because Manoj wanted me to be happy. But yes I was missing him. I couldn't hinder my heart from doing that because I loved him immensely. the whole night, I sat beside Manoj's dead body, in a shocked state.

We, the two lovebirds were looking forward to share our happiness and melancholy with each other, to spend our lives in each other's arms, being unaware of the fact that life had other plans for us. if I would ever get the slightest hint about the prospects that laid ahead, I would have never dreamt of being a free bird again. I would have never fantasized of being cared and treasured like every other girl. But the fact was that again I was vulnerable to numerous dollops of throes.

Next morning, when the first orange hued rays of sunrise kissed the still dust laden rubble,I realized my state of reality. These soft rays that should have brought warmth to a new day only acted to solidify the reality of my loss. In the dark I had only the smell of the gunfire and the blood to contend with, but under the radiating glow of the clouded sky there was no hiding. I sat there until one of the construction workers waggled me to move out of there. Though I trembled to stand, but I had to. When i looked around i saw the two men lie at the right side of the road unconscious. I decided to escape swiftly.

With his help I lifted the body and took it to the auto (a type of public transport in India) stand. No one was willing to allow me to ride their vehicle with a bloody corpse. I still wail at the insensitivity of the society. I was so astounded that I didn't have the strength to ask for help. I stood there like a rock, listening to their shrewd comments. After a few minutes the man helped me with a wooden wheeled stretcher and took us to the nearest cremation ground.

Yet, I couldn't accept the harsh truth of Manoj's death. The man left, and I was alone there on the cremation ground. I knew no one to be informed about Manoj's death. I stood there alone wearing the same white saree which was now red with my love's blood. My hair was disheveled. My kajal was spread. The mogras in my braid were rotten. My body was stained in deep red color which added to the fury raging inside me.

My resentment meant no bounds. My heart thumped fast. My mind recalled the awful scene when the love of my life died in my lap. But my conscience restricted me from taking any extreme step. I wasn't willing to kill them but i wanted to ask them why they took an innocent life. They could even bring me back to the brothel by force, they need not kill my beloved.I didn't want to droop myself to the level of those demons who were torpid and phlegmatic towards my sentiments. I cared for their loved ones and their family.

After ruminating on the topic for long, as i stood in front of the burning pyre, I decided to go back to the brothel and serve as a prostitute again. It wasn't that i had no place to go. I could survive on roads even but i wanted to go back to the place which treasured my memories. The place where I could smell the fragrance of my first love letter. Th room where I could cherish the time spent with Manoj. The bed where I slept in his arms and began to apprehend him more. The garden where I had first seen him.I believed that this brothel, full of adorable memories would help me to be happy.