Caryl S7

.Relief.

Rick was talking with Eziekel and Jesus, Daryl and I went for a walk. It was silent until I broke the silence.
C: You okay?
D: I will be...soon.
C: Now! Are you okay?

Daryl stopped for a moment and looked at me.
D: I have to be.
Then we continued walking.

It was silent once again...he didn't want to talk but I have to make him, if everything stayed inside ...it will make him worse.

C: Your not gonna talk?...Okay, I'll start.
I wasn't feeling well, emotionally. And with what's happening now...it's a war, we need to save people... we need to kill people. And I just couldn't stand the idea of taking another soul...

Daryl grabbed my arm furiously.

D: Stop that crap...we've all been through this shit ...we don't like it ya know!
C: Stop it Daryl! ...You have no idea what has led me to this situation... did you ask me what happened to the girls, Lizzie and Mika?
D: They ain't here!
C: Do you know why? Or how they went?
D: They just did like the other people we lost.
C: No...I killed Lizzie.

Daryl stopped...and looked at me, shocked.

D: w...what?
C: After she killed Mika...and Judith was moments away from dying.
D: W...why would she do that?
C: because...she didn't understand this shitty world ...those shitty things. I ... had to kill her to keep going...I had to kill her for Judith.

Tears were pouring down ...and all that Daryl could do is to pull me to a hug. And gosh! I needed this hug more than anything.

D: You had to do this...you had no choice.
You need to stop blaming yourself...forgive yourself.

Then I told him about Paula, The Wolf man who saved Denise...I felt relief in my heart. All these things were kept inside me, and now I'm just feeling...relieved.