The Girl With The Silver Eyes

Chapter 17

Peeta

One year later

I walk down the black stone road through the graveyard. She sounded terrible on the phone. I don't understand how meeting at her at Prim's grave would even be feasible for her after losing her only a month ago.

As bad as it sounds, I'm glad she's finally gone. The cancer spread quickly and she was nearly always in pain. She couldn't even breathe very well on her own this spring. Katniss did everything she could to keep Prim happy, but it killed her to watch the horrible disease slowly eat away her little sister. It ruined everything about senior year for her. Everything that you should enjoy in that time of your life was tainted by the shadow of death slowly creeping on her sister.

She sits beside the polished rose colored rock with Prim's name and dates cut into it, facing away from me as I walk up. She hears me and turns around. She slowly stands up and smooths out her dark blue skirt.

"Katniss, what are you doing out here?" I ask. She looks at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

"I needed to apologize to her," she says before taking a deep breath. "I've made a lot of bad choices lately. And I owe her an explanation."

"You did everything you could for her," I say.  She shakes her head.

"It isn't about her," she says. "It's about us."

"Us?" I ask. "What about us?" She sniffles and looks down.

"Don't make me say it, Peeta," she whispers. I feel my heart break in half at the look in her eyes.

"You're dumping me," I say and she nods.

"It's not because of anything you did," she says. "And it's not because I don't care about you anymore."

"Then why?" I ask and she starts crying.

"Because it's time for you to open your eyes," she says. "You're going to college in three weeks and I'm not going with you. You are going to meet new people and the last thing you need is to think about anything at home. High school is over. It's time for us to go our separate ways. It's just the rational thing to do."

"I don't care!" I say. "I want to get married some day and have a family with you. Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Of course it does," she says calmly. "But I don't want you to look back in ten years and regret never dating anyone but me. And I want the same for myself. If we are meant to be together, we will find each other again. But I can't let you go to college tied down," she says. "I want you to live your dream. And you have to do that without anything holding you back. Even if you want me to."

"So that's it?" I ask. "That's all you have to say to me. That you won't even try to make this work long distance."

"Because it won't," she says. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"I will never forgive you for this," I say. "You aren't even willing to try and I just, I thought I meant more to you than statistics."

"You do," she says. "But we both need to look at the future now, Peeta. What we have, it's the past when it comes to  looking for what our lives are going to turn out to be. I need time to walk on my own two feet. I can't do that with you constantly trying to make things easier." I nod and she takes a step closer to me and gently kisses my lips.

"Don't ever think I'm doing this because I don't love you," she says.

"How could I not?" I ask her before turning away from her and walking out of the cemetery, feeling as though I'm holding the shattered pieces of my heart in my hands.

Katniss

I watch him walk away and start crying as he leaves my sight. I walk back over  to the grave stone and kneel in front of it.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I know your last wish was for me to tell him, to not do this, but it would kill me to keep him from his dream of being an artist. And he needs to go to college for that. He would quit school in a New York minute to keep working at the bakery and support his child. Which is why I need to go away now. I need to get out of town before he comes home and I start showing."  I kiss the rock just above her name and stand, wiping away my tears. "If I have a girl, I'm naming her Danielle Primrose, after you, that way she'll always carry a piece of you with her."

I pick my bag up from behind her headstone and sling it over my shoulder. I give the stone one last glance before walking out of the cemetery. The bus stop is only a block away so I walk down the street and wait with a little old woman.

"Where you going girl?" She asks as I sit down. "If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't know," I say. "Anywhere really. There's just too many memories here. I need to go away from here."

"So you haven't anywhere to stay?" She asks.

"I've got family in California," I say. "I'm only hoping my money can get me there."

"Well, I'm only here visiting my daughter," she says. "I live just outside Little Rock and my late husband had a loft apartment built above our garage. You could stay there until you get on your feet." I look down for a moment and chuckle.

"That's kinda gonna be hard," I say. "Not many people want to hire a pregnant girl."

"I'll try to figure something out for you," she says. Maybe you could clean up around my house or something." I look at her curiously.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask. "I'm a complete stranger. You don't know me."

"You just look like you've had a bad time lately," she says. "It's time you had a little hope in your life." I smile at her.

"Well thank you," I say. "I'd be glad to take your generous offer." The bus pulls up and I help the old woman stand. I follow her into the bus and sit next to her as the bus pulls away, taking me further and further from the love of my life."