The Diary of a Teenage Psychopath #Wattys2016 #Completed

Chapter 11- Help

Dear Simon,

I've never really had my heart broken by a guy I liked. Maybe now, while i'm like this, so deep in, isn't a good time. I got up and put on all my clothes as fast as I could. I tied my hair into a ponytail and got my things.

"You're really not going to make me explain?" He asked, pulling his pants back up. I didn't say a word as I walked through his room door and continued down the stairs.

He ran after me and grabbed my arm.

"It's over, Hedy! That was two years ago. We are done." He said firmly. I ripped my arm from his grip.

"Then why do you have a picture of you and her kissing on your bed stand?" I asked hysterically.

"I liked the picture, it doesn't mean I still love her or that i'm still interested." He looked me in the eyes pleading for my understanding. But it didn't make sense. I wanted to believe him but to believe him would be stupid. My heart sank.

"You loved her?" I asked in a whisper.

"Look at her, it's hard not to. But Scarlet isn't for me." He wrapped his arms back around my waist and it took everything in me to continue hating him.

I shook my head and unlocked his hands from around me. " You should have told me! She's my friend too and you guys fucked around and then i'm here in your bed!" I stopped, realization hitting me."Oh my God. I feel so stupid." I put my hand to my head as pain ripped through me. He stared at me confused but I was only starting to figure him out.

"I should have known I was just some new addition to the group that you wanted to fuck. Is that it? Is that all you wanted?" I yelled and watched his fists ball up. " Do you fuck the new girl in the group and then throw them away when you're done? Is that how you work Lincoln? Cause that's sick!"

"Hedy, are you serious? I didn't touch you for weeks. I barely touched you today before you got me going. I drove to your house every night after your breakdown and that's all you think of me? That I wanted to fuck you?" He walks away from me and sits on the couch then turns on the TV.

"If you haven't notice, I've had plenty of opportunities to do that. I chose not to. But if you think that low of me, plese get out of my house." He propped his feet up on the table in front of the couch, leaned his head back and stared at the screen. I was so hurt and ashamed I felt the tears building up in me.

"Scarlet cheated on me but I'm obviously the sick pervert in this. Go."

Don't do it. Don't do it. I kept telling myself.

Don't cry in front of him. Just apologize.

"I-" I began, but the words caught in my throat. My voice had gone from yelling to a whisper that wouldn't even come out.

"Seriously, Hedy. Leave." He said looking at me standing speechless by the front door. By then the tears had escaped my eyes. I didn't even know how to get back home from his house.

"I need a ride." I sniffed.

"You need help." He retorted.

I heard my heart shatter into a million pieces. I heard the click. I heard it so clearly the pain was immediate. Without another word I left his house now sobbing like a two year old.

You need help.

He almost sounded like my old friends and after today, that's probably what he would become. It hurt, Simon. I can't even cry anymore, there's nothing left in me.

R.I.P