Terminal

Sick

Sick

Affected by physical or mental illness

Two days after arriving, I got pretty close with Jenna really quick. I blame it on the fact that we're the only girls here. The guys have just finished performing. They say their ending speech before walking off the stage. Josh proudly throws his arms around me. "This is disgusting" I mumble. His sweaty body was sticking to me. "You love it" I try to pull away but he only holds me tighter. "Actually no I hate it" He acts offended as he lets me go. "I'm just kidding" he smiles and leans down to kiss me. "Meet and greet time" Tyler says, walking past us hand in hand with Jenna. Josh and I follow behind them to an open arena. We walk to a tent and Jenna and I sit in lawn chairs. Josh and Tyler sit in chairs behind a table so they can sign merch. As soon as the doors open, the line rushes forward. I wasn't even the one signing and I felt overwhelmed. But as always, the guys handled it professionally. A few people down the line, I started to feel nauseas. "Jenna, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Tell Josh not to worry if he asks. But if I'm not back by the time the line is gone, come find me" She laughs before agreeing. I stand up and quickly make my way towards a door. When I push it open I sprint down the hallway. I could feel the vomit rising up my throat. I only just made it into a stall before all of the contents in my stomach were in the toilet bowl. My body lurched forward every time something new came up. The medicine was starting to affect me. I didn't tell Josh this would happen because it would only make him worry about me more and he has enough to think about when he's performing. Over the sound of me vomiting, I hear the bathroom door open. "Josh told me to check on you" She pokes her head into the stall before freaking out. "Oh are you okay? Do you need water? Advil? A cold rag?" She rambles. "No I'm fine. It's just my medicine makes me nauseas. Please don't tell Josh, he doesn't need to worry about me right now" She shifts her weight between feet. "Are you sure, I think he should know" She bends down to tuck my hair behind my ear. "I know, you're right" "Let me go get you some water, stay here" She stands up and leaves the bathroom. I flush the toilet and shakily walk to the sink to wash my mouth out. The medicine has made me extra weak in the past few days. I'm going to call my mom to call my doctor for me and ask about that. I turn and lean against the cool counter. Moments later, Jenna was back with a water bottle and a cool rag. "The guys are almost done signing" She hands me the bottle and places the rag on the back of my neck. I sip the water and feel it slide down my throat. "I'll tell Josh just don't say anything right now okay?" I say, capping the bottle again. "Okay"

"Hey, where did you disappear to?" Josh asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we walk back to the bus. "I just went to the bathroom then Jenna and I started talking" I shrug my shoulders. Once we got in the bus, I changed into some more comfortable clothing and climbed into Josh's bunk. I sat up against the wall, with my knees pulled to my chest. Honestly, my whole body hurt and my stomach was killing me. It felt like I was having really bad cramps like a period. A few moments later, Josh joins me. He lies down and faces me. "Are you okay?" he asks, tracing circles in my bare thigh. "Well no not really. I didn't want to worry you, but the medicine they gave me makes me sick. It makes me nauseas. And my whole body hurts and my stomach is killing me" I mumble. Josh sits up slowly "It's my job to worry about you Olivia. I don't care if I'm on stage in the middle of a song, if you need me, I will stop just to help you" he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't want you to. Like I said a month ago, I wasn't going to make you choose between me and your life" "You are my life. What I do on stage every night is just a hobby. You are what really matters in my life. And at this point in your life, you need me and I'm going to be here for you" I feel the tears start to form but I push them back. I nod my head and gently push him back onto the mattress so I can lie on his chest. I've been listening to his heartbeat to fall asleep the last two nights. "Goodnight beautiful"

Sometime during the night, I woke up crying. My body was just in so much pain I couldn't sleep. I sit up slowly, not to wake Josh. I pull my knees into my chest and silently cry. I didn't want to worry Josh, but he's made it clear he wants me to let him know so I gently wake him up. "Josh?" I say through my tears. "Yeah, what's wrong?" he sits up slowly and looks at me concerned. "My body hurts. I'm in so much pain" My stomach hurts so much I flip over onto my hands and knees and clutch my stomach. Josh rubs my back trying to help anything. "Do you want Advil?" he offers, not knowing what to do. "If you have any, please" He hops out of his bunk and shortly later he was back with a glass of water with it. "I don't really know what to do for you and I feel terrible" he stands there rubbing my back. "I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd blame yourself for not being able to help me" I shove my face into the mattress to suppress a cry of pain. "Come here" I talk through the pain and tears. Josh carefully climbs into the bunk and lies down beside me. I cuddle into his side trying to ignore the pain. "I'm so sorry" Josh mumbles as he pats my hair soothingly. "I just want it to be over" I regret saying that as soon as the words leave my mouth. "Don't you ever say that" Josh's voice sounds pained. "Don't you ever say that" Josh whispers over and over again as he rubs my hair, lulling me to sleep.