Bad Boys Can Be Different A Gene x Zenix FF (Genix)

Chapter 4 Different

Zenix's POV

I woke up for the second time still in Gene's arms, I smiled to myself finding him very comfortable. I don't know why I like this so much, maybe I should just enjoy it while it lasts, but how long will that be? For now I just wanted to lay here and forget everything. I wanted to forget the confusion I was having about my sexuality recently and just lay in the comfort of Gene. I knew when he woke up I'd have to plaster on the 'tough boy act' but I don't want to. I'm afraid of being myself around Gene, I'm afraid he'll see me for what I am, what am I really though? Lately I've been put the label 'gay' on myself because of feelings I've had recently. Sure I've had girlfriends before but it was never because 'I like you' it was 'maybe if I do this people won't find out that I'm such a mess inside... Maybe HE won't find out how I feel...' Yea, HIM, Gene, I think I may like him, he's always been there for me even if I was being a complete a**. I don't deserve him, I don't deserve anyone. I can't do anything right, I couldn't even manage to ditch a single class in Middle School without my mom finding out. I'm useless.

Last year I wanted to go into high school having a girlfriend, so maybe Gene would find me useful in some way. That was a very bad idea... I asked for help from the only flirt I knew, and that just happened to be Gene's brother, Dante. After awhile I gave up because couldn't handle it anymore, he'd make me find girls and try out these stupid pick up line on them. I could never bring myself to do it. I'd always think, 'this is wrong' 'stop trying to be something your not' 'why you try these out on guys instead'. The only reason I never did try them out on boys is because of Gene. He may not know my feelings for him but everytime I even thought of trying a pickup line on a guy I'd feel my heart being torn in two. It felt like I was cheating on him, even if we're not together. I also was never sure that I was completely gay. I always  thought maybe I was bi, or maybe I did like girls... Plus Gene.

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt a small tug on my arm, "Zenix are you alright?" Gene asked worriedly, "I'm fine, just get off me." I replied a little harsher then meaning to, he looked a bit hurt but I ignored it and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. I pushed myself up and walked to the bathroom, leaving a confused, and crestfallen Gene,waiting on the couch. 

I sat down on the toilet, (not using it you pervs) I set my face in my hand and cried, just cried.

He can't know...

He'd think I'm a freak...

I should have left when I got up... He already thinks I'm a creep...

He hates me...

I hate me...

I'm useless...

I'm can't escape the world...

But I can take the pain away...

I searched the for a single razor in the small room. A single blade, my special pain reliever. I finally found one and I started my routine.

He'll never love you...

Cut.

He'd rather have you dead...

Cut.

I'm a freak...

Cut.

I can't be honest with anything...

Cut.

I'm ashamed of myself...

Cut.

I can't face reality...

Cut.

I. Should. Die.

I reach down for one more cut but I'm cut off by a pair of strong arms wrapping protectively around me. I let out tears I didn't know I was holding and buried my head in his chest. Once I finally look up I realize that he has a few small tears on his face. "Why." Gene asks in barely more then a whisper, "why do you do this?!" He asks again, this  time more loudly."Because I deserve it." I whisper, burying my head back in his chest. "NO YOU DON'T! IF I COULD I'D MAKE SURE NOT A SINGLE DROP OF PAIN COMES NEAR YOU! You don't deserve anything but to be loved..." He mumbled the last part but I still heard it. I looked up into his blue eyed again, they were sparkly with tears and passion. I feel guilty that I caused do much sadness for him, but he doesn't understand what's going on. Would he be holding me like this if he knew? I'm weak for not telling him but I can't take any chances. I'm a coward, but I'm a coward that is in love. 

Bad boys can be different... And Zenix knows he is, what he doesn't  know is that Gene is to, their both something nobody would expect them to be. One was in denial. One was in love.

Dante's POV 

I still feel bad that I didn't wake them up in the morning, BUT THEY LOOKED SO CUTE! I didn't want to disturb them. I was walking home, wondering what they did all day. Only God knows what they could get themselves into. I opened my front door slowly and heard a whimper coming from the bathroom. I walked over quietly only to see my brother holding Zenix, while Zenix cried on Gene's chest. I made a mental not to ask what happen later but decided to just walk into my room.

A/n: AHHH MEH POOR BABY ZENIX WHY DO I DO THIS TO HIM!! Also I just wanted to say I messed with the ages a lot in this series. Since Gene and Sasha are softmores it would make sense if Dante was to so he's a freshma.

Softmores: Gene, Sasha, and other people I don't care about therefore won't be in the story.

Freshman: Aphmau, Laurance, Garroth, Dante, Kawaii~Chan, Travis, and some other people

ALSO~ No this isn't like my Vylante fanfic, yes Zenix and Dante both have depression but Zenix's is more self harm, and Dante just has those 'episodes' And Finally~ After this chapter I realize adding the scene from the One Shot wouldn't make sense in here so I might not add that. If I do add I it there scene in the bathroom will have a different dialogue since Gene already know that Zenix self harms.

ANYWHO! Luv U 2 Bitz!

~ALuv