Lost In Our Desires

The Key Chain

       

Her.

Nicole, my stepmother, wasn't too happy to see me arriving home on a Saturday morning without her having knowledge of my previous whereabouts. For some reason lying came to me like a second nature. I told her that after school we had a student council meeting, at Nick's house, and that we were assigned partners for some social experiment. The idea was to get to know someone we weren't friends with and see if we can somehow connect to show us that we all can relate with each other, we just had to find out how. That being so, I spent all of yesterday with Deonna McBride, Dylan, and ended up falling asleep at her house. Like I said, lying just comes to me like second nature. Though the story didn't get me in the clear, it was for sure a better result than what I would've gotten if I told her I went over my boyfriend's house and almost slept with him but then remembered Dylan and ran to him in the middle of the night and slept there with him instead.

Dylan. For a slight second I had almost forgot what had happened in the previous hours. I spent all that time hating him. I literally told myself I hated his guts for doing what he did to me when in reality I had no idea what his reasons were. I had just assumed it was something stupid. Now I hated myself. This whole time he was suffering and I was out screwing around with other people. Then I remembered even further. Nick. I just left him without an explanation. Basically I did exactly what Dylan did to me. I told myself I'd never do that to someone when I just did. Nick waited for me to be ready to do the things he had wanted and he respected me and he has never done anything to hurt me and I just up and left without telling him why in the middle of something that was very important to him, to me too. I checked my phone. Eight missed calls. As much as I wanted to go see Dylan I had to go apologize to Nick first.

I waited for Nicole to leave for work before I left. The entire car ride there I tried to think of a way to explain everything to him but I knew he'd only get mad again. I couldn't decide if I should tell him the truth or come up with another extraordinary lie. Of course I came to the decision to tell the truth. The last thing I wanted our relationship to be was a lie.

I was both relieved and disappointed to see that Nicks car wasn't in the drive way. He also didn't answer when I called him twice. All I could think about was all the negative things like him ignoring me, breaking up with me, or even worse, something happened to him. I called again. Nothing. I was only thinking that someone terrible happened and I left him alone. Then it hit me. Nick has football practice on Saturdays. The last time I was this relieved was when I was told Dylan was going to be okay after he had an asthma attack three years ago. I looked at my phone. 2:54PM. Football wouldn't be over till five. I never understood why guys would want to practice almost every day doing things that I wouldn't be able to do for four minutes when they do it for four hours. That just gives me enough time to spend with Dylan before Nick comes home. Maybe Dylan knew what I should say to him. Dylan always knew what to say.

I thought the drive to Nicks was long but the drive to Dylan's was like an eternity. I smiled when 'Somewhere Only We Know' came on shuffle. I almost wanted to just close my eyes and take the song in and when I came to a red light, I did. Just for a second but that second was all I needed. When I opened my eyes I forgot the song was playing. I forgot that I was driving. Across from me was Nick's car also waiting for the green light to appear. He looked sweaty and out of breath and he was talking. But no one else was in the car. He was probably on the phone. I honked my horn and startled him. He looked me in the eyes for a few seconds then slammed his foot on the gas. The light was green. Why didn't he smile or wave? Why wasn't he at practice? My thoughts were interrupted by a car behind me, obviously upset with the fact that the light was green and I still haven't moved. As I drove I called him again and this time he answered.