Forever- Harry Styles Fan Fiction

Ch 28- Close To Perfection

Playlist For This Chapter:
-Story of My Life (One Direction)
-Irresistible (One Direction)

Harry's POV:

"Maybe if you wouldn't have brought Cara, then things wouldn't be this way," she said harshly.

I sighed as we halted at a red light.

"I know.. I shouldn't have brought her.."

"Then why did you?"

"I.. I don't know. I was scared you would choose Niall.. and.. I guess.. I needed a back up plan.. to look good," I spoke hesitantly.

"A back up plan? Really, Harry?" she said angrily and with a touch of sarcasm. Then she seemed to release some tension and anger. "Why do you need a back up plan? Why do you have to look good?"

I glanced out the window to avoid the eye contact I was dreading and eased on the pedal as the light had turned green. She made me feel so weak and vulnerable. She had me in the palm of her hand, yet she didn't abuse that power that no one else could obtain.

All this time I've spent away from society and the world I now hated deeply, I noticed many things about myself that I never noticed before. I have always tried to find the right girl, always said my heart is open to love, when in reality, I had closed my heart and never let anyone get to know me. No one knew me better than myself, except Kaylieh. She knows when I'm lying, when I'm upset, when I'm irritated, when I need to talk. She knows how to talk to me, how to listen to me, how to get me to talk when all I feel like doing us shutting down.

Society made me feel like I had to find that special girl at that very moment. My mind was constantly on the look out, when I kept my heart empty for days and days, because it knew that it would find that special girl eventually. I, now, realize that society had shaped me, and my heart, into something it didn't need to be, and it pained me to know it may never go back to the innocent love my heart once was and had for Kaylieh.

I found that I could cover that pain with alcohol, and every now and then, drugs. They made the pain go to the back corner, while it took over the rest of the room. But I knew. I knew it was still there. I could drink as much as I wanted, but she seemed to consume my thoughts even more. When I drink, the truth comes out, as it does with many people, but it did the same in my head. The thoughts I wanted to hide only came back stronger. The pain and heartache would still be covered by the blanket of buzz, but the thoughts were still there. They always were.

That was just the story of my life.

"I never thought I had a chance with you. The second you saw me with Cara, I thought it was all down hill," I said lowly.

"Why? Why did you think you had no chance? Why didn't you just try your hardest to win me over.. if that was what you wanted.."

"Of course it was! I wanted you more than anyone.. I'm just.. insecure.. I guess." I mumbled.

"Tell me why."

"I've never thought of myself as a heartthrob. I never knew I was as good looking as these fans say. I never thought I could have nearly any girl I wanted, but when I did realize it, I knew I only wanted you.. No one else. Not Cara, not a fan, not a millionaire superstar. I wanted you, Kaylieh."

"Then why didn't you show me that?"

"It's not that easy," I defended.

"And why not?"

WHY IS SHE ASKING ALL THESE STUPID QUESTIONS?!

"I knew you were the perfect girl, that special someone, but then I thought I had no chance, I was too insecure. I threw myself at Cara hoping she would catch me. I was scared to look uncool, because I never considered myself cool, but I finally am. I thought I needed that model under my arm to stay cool. I felt like you would just reject me, and that's not cool."

I glanced over at her. She looked well in thought, and I decided not to disturb her with my thoughts.

I don't know. Maybe all of this is too far off topic. Maybe I'm just annoying her as I ramble on about myself.

"What are you thinking about?" my mouth blurted.

She shook her head. "Too much."

I decided to leave her be for the rest of the ride. Shortly after, we pulled up to my house I was renting while on vacation. We both stepped out of the car, and she followed me as I went to unlock the door. I took her to the living room, which had huge windows, letting in a large amount of the California sun.

"Do you remember that song you asked me about?" I asked as we sat down on the couch, her keeping her distance.

"Harry, the last time we really talked was like 4 years ago," she replied with a hit of annoyance.

"Well, I remember. I had a major hang over, and you came over to helped me," I said lowly looking at the floor and smiling to myself. "You asked me about a song that you had heard. I didn't tell you, but.. I wrote it for you.."

I didn't know what else to say, so I picked up the guitar that I had leaning against the couch. Now, I didn't know guitar really well, but I learned a good bit while I was in practically isolation.

"Don't try to make me stay
Or ask if I'm okay
I don't have the answer
Don't make me stay the night
Or ask if I'm alright
I don't have the answer.

Heartache doesn't last forever
I'll say I'm fine
Midnight ain't no time for laughing
When you say goodbye.

It makes your lips so kissable
And your kiss unmissable
Your fingertips so touchable
And your eyes irresistible.

I've tried to ask myself
Should I see someone else?
I wish I knew the answer.

But I know, if I go now, if I leave
Then I'm on my own tonight
I'll never know the answer.

Midnight doesn't last forever
Dark turns to light
Heartache flips my world around
I'm falling down, down, down,
That's why.

I find your lips so kissable
And your kiss unmissable
Your fingertips so touchable
And your eyes irresistible,
Irresistible,
Irresistible,
Irresistible.

It's in your lips and in your kiss
It's in your touch and your fingertips
And it's in all the things and other things
That make you who you are and your eyes irresistible.

It makes your lips so kissable
And your kiss unmissable
Your fingertips so touchable
And your eyes, your eyes, your eyes,
Your eyes, your eyes, your eyes
Irresistible."

I realized I had my eyes closed throughout the entire song, and as I looked up I saw large tears in her eyes.

"I.. uh.. I wrote this when you left England.. I.." I sighed remembering the horrid experience, "I was heart broken.. I didn't think you wanted anything to do with me.. or ever would.. I guess that assumption was right.." I sadly chuckled as tears slipped down my face, and I tried my hardest to keep them down by sniffling. "I wrote it to show my confusion, to tell myself that heartache will fade.. but to sing of how close to perfection you are.. Kaylieh, I've known since I was a young boy that you were my everything and that I love you, that hasn't changed, and I'm scared it never will."

"Why are you scared?" she whispered through the streaming tears on her face.

"Because it will slowly kill me.. You don't understand how bad it hurts to want someone, to need someone, so much, and to know that they don't want or need you. You are my everything. I do love you. I only wish you felt the same."

I was quieted by her lips against mine. She flung her arms around my neck, and I nearly fell over at the shocking embrace.

I put my hands on her waist as she deepened the kiss.

"I've missed you," she whispered once she pulled away and rest her forehead against mine.

"I've missed you too.. so much," I whispered.


(A/N: That was the second to last chapter, y'all!! AHH! POSTING THE LAST CHAPTER TOMORROW! Thanks for putting up with me, guys! -Charley;)

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