Shawmila Imagines

028 | patience

This is another sucky old draft! Sorry, I fixed a few things to make it a teensy (it that even a word? idk, lol) bit better. Anyways, I was listening to Someone New from Banks (I think, that's that I remember)!

Alright, enjoy!

S H A W N

I sat in the empty bed, the quiet breathing coming from me sounding lound from the silence of the house. Everything I did, thought, felt—I only thought of Shawn. He was the only thing on my mind, and I couldn't seem to let go. It was like a magnet, like I was pulled to him. My selfish heart always took over, wishing that he wouldn't do tour. But I couldn't take that away from him—that was his dream. And you, never destroy them.

With a sigh escaping my lips, I pulled the blanket over my body and pressed my back onto the mattress. I closed my eyes, still trying to remember what he felt like. Months, days, weeks—I haven't seen him in such a long time. Sure, texting was always there but he would always do it late at night when the concerts ended and I was already asleep with the thought of him lingering on my mind. God, I'm so stuck on him.

The day he said goodbye, I just—completely fell and broke apart. Why couldn't he stay? Again, my selfish reasons came back and I couldn't breathe. I was so greedy, and impatient for him to come back so soon. My throat caught, and the salty taste of tears dripped on my bottom lip. I miss you so much, so .. much.

I was so vunerable. I was so weak; without him. And I, thought I was independent. I didn't need a man to help me, or anyone else. Hell, I couldn't survive a night. As if he was the last hand trying to pull me up from falling—but he let go. There was just such a need for him, like I was destined. As much of the clichéness it was, he was the only of the seven billion people on earth that made me smile. Every day from the past months—I couldn't take it anymore.

I cried, every night. How did it feel to lose someone? To lose a grip on someone you've become so fond of?

It felt like hell.

But I didn't know what he felt. I didn't know if he loved me still. What if he had doubts? What if he just gave up, like the others did on me? I chewed on my lip, trying to hold back the tears that were on the verge of slipping down my pale cheeks that were now painted to a shade of light pink.

I took a grasp on my phone, and opened Twitter right away. I needed to see him. I didn't want to wait any longer; nor did I want to hold back my feelings.

Typing up his name, I came across a video from a fanpage about him. The caption made my heart melt, and I couldn't wait for him to just .. come home. Clicking on the video, it had just brought me to tears and my hand clasping my mouth, holding from sobs and loud cries.

"So, this song is for my girlfriend. You all probably know her, and she's probably waiting at home eating bananas," A small giggle came from my mouth. "So, anyways. I dedicate this one to her, the sunshine to my faltered rainstorm and the peanut to my butter. Wait—that didn't sound right." The audience from his concert laughed, a few whistles coming from the back. I shook my head, laughing at the way Shawn tried to make cheesy quotes coming back in 2016. "Alright, yeah go laugh at me. I want to entitle this to her because somehow, someway she will watch this. And darling—if you are—i'm coming home soon, I promise." I bit on my lip to stop from my girly actions. God, this boy. "And I miss you. I miss you so God damned much. Please wait for me. I love you." He finished, starting to strum a few chords on his guitar.

"Be patient for me, baby."