Screwed

Chapter Six

(6)

School went by pretty fast.

However, Jade had slept through six of her seven classes.

Beck doesn't press the back of his hands to her forehead, doesn't ask if she's still feeling ill, just lets her lay her head on his shoulders and doze off.

He believes Trina, she knows he does, and she doesn't know how to react to it. She had wanted to tell him herself, at her own pace, but now she feels as if she's forced to either confirm or deny it.

He hasn't asked her, he wouldn't, but she knows he wants her to say something.

"Mind if I come over tonight?" Jade asks during lunch.

Beck furrows his brow as he tightens his grip on her waist. "You never have ask babe. I can make something to eat too," he says, looking at the fold that she's barely touched.

Jade's stomach lurches as she thinks about food, but she nods anyway.

"That would be good," she says, smiling softly.

And it is good.

Beck makes her a vegan burger that she devours, and then they curl up on his bed and watch The Scissoring for the majority of the night, since neither have homework.

She's drifting off to sleep thinking that things might not be so bad when she hears Beck mumble,

"We need to talk."

She tenses immediately.

"Beck-"

"I just need to talk to you about something," Beck says quickly.

Jade shakes her head as she stands from the bed. "I know what you want to talk about Beck and I don't want to."

Beck furrows his brow. "How do you know what I want to talk about?"

"Because you've been acting weird all day!" Jade runs her fingers through her hair. "What Trina said to you-"

"How do you know what Trina said?" Beck wants to know.

Jade bites down on her bottom lip as she crosses her arms across her chest. "Cat told me yesterday when I picked her up. She was worried about me drinking coffee because pregnant women shouldn't drink coffee and I wanted to know why the hell she would think that."

Beck licks his lips as he sits up a bit more. "Well?"

Jade swallows. "Well what?"

Beck sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair. "Jade."

"Beck."

"You know what the I'm asking," Beck says with a roll of his eyes, and she does, but she doesn't know how to say it.

Well, she does, but she doesn't particularly wants to say it. Because saying it out loud, saying it to him, well, it makes this real. She can't say it, she opens her mouth but the words don't come, all she feels is the stinging of tears behind her eyes.

Beck is up in a flash, pulling her into his embrace, kissing her hair. "Babe it's okay, it's okay."

"It's not!" Jade snaps. "This isn't okay Beck. Nothing about it is okay."

"So, you are..." he trails off, but Jade knows what he's asking.

She doesn't say anything, but the tiny nod she gives against his shoulder is confirmation enough.

She feels more than hears the sigh that leaves him. "Okay, okay. Everything will be okay."

Jade rolls her eyes and peels herself away from him. "You know I love almost everything about you, except the fact that you're Canadian, but your optimism can be fucking annoying."

"Well what do you want me to say Jade?" Beck wants to know.

"That we fucked up! Because we did!" Jade snaps. "Our parents are going to kill us when they find out Beck. Don't you realize that?"

Beck does know that. His parents have always been strict about abstaining from sex, even when he moved out of their house. And Jade's parents, well, that's a completely different story. He knows that her father will disown her, and her mother, well, she goes along with whatever Jade's father does.

"How far along are you?" Beck asks.

Jade shrugs her shoulders. "I haven't had my period in a two months so two, maybe almost three months?"

Beck nods as he swallows thickly. "You haven't been to a doctor yet?"

Jade shakes her head. "No I-I haven't even processed it yet Beck. I just found out a couple days ago."

"Okay," Beck says as he runs his fingers through his hair. He feels as if he's said that word so much but what else can he say? He doesn't know.

"I've been looking up abortion clinics."

Beck's brow furrows. "What? Why have you been looking up abortion clinics?"

Jade's brow furrows also. "You can't...you don't want this baby. Do you?"

Beck sighs as he shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know."

Jade swallows thickly. She can't believe this. She and Beck have futures, promising futures, and those futures don't include babies that would be born before she even has a chance to go college.

"I'm not saying I want to have a baby right now, but I don't not want a baby right now either," Beck tells her as he rubs the back of his neck. "I just wanna think about it."

Jade shakes her head. She doesn't believe it. She can't believe that Beck, her rational boyfriend Beck, is considering keeping this baby.

"Beck we graduate in five months, and we go off to college in seven. I-we can't afford to have a baby," Jade shakes her head as she sits back down on his bed. "God I can't believe we're even talking about this."

Beck sighs as he sits down beside her. His hand finds hers, intertwining their fingers. "Let's take this one day at a time, alright? Let's not make any decisions now. The first thing we need to do is get you to a doctor."

Jade shakes her head. "Beck, there's no way in hell I can go to a doctor without my parents knowing."

"We'll figure it out," Beck promises. "I just want to make sure you and the baby are healthy."

Jade sighs as she flops down on his bed. She can't believe that the words 'you' in reference to her and 'baby' have been used in the same sentence.

"Can we stop talking about it for a while?" she asks, turns to look at him before she adds, "Can we just, lay here and go to sleep?"

Beck nods, laying beside her and wrapping his arms around her waist. His hand presses against her belly, and he swallows thickly, a lump forming in his throat.

There's a baby in there.

His baby is in there.

Their baby is in there.

Jade chews on her bottom as she feels Beck's hand on her stomach, his thumb stroking over her skin.

She swallows, before the had that she had been laying on falls on top of his, one top of her stomach.

Where their baby is.

A baby.

She's having a baby.

They're having a baby.