To save a life

# t w e l v e ( part I )

#12) Organize the treasure box in the tree house

'It's not your fault.' Piper rubbed a reassuring hand on my back. My head hung heavy between my shoulders. Part of me wished that I told Tate earlier even though I knew it would have been wrong. But another part of me is kind of annoyed because it was just a kiss on the cheek. It wasn't as if I'd gotten into a full blown makeout session with the guy.

'Don't worry, I'll find a way to fix this. Leave it to me can you?' I wasn't in the mood to reply to her so I just nodded.

Jeremy left after I told him that I didn't want to dance but there was no mistaking the glint of mischief in his eyes. Right now, it was just me and Piper on the balcony of the house. We needed to be in a quiet place after Bennet left to find Tate. I doubt that he'd tell us whether he found him or not.

'I don't get it though,' I sighed, ruffling a hand through my hair. I smiled when I saw Pipers narrowed eyes. 'It was just a small kiss on the cheek. Don't you think that he's being a bit too melodramatic?'

'Ruwena, Ruwena, Ruwena. Why must you be so dumb?'

'Oh no. Go ahead. I totally wasn't offended by that.' She nudged my side and we both broke into a short laugh. Piper knew I was freaking out on the inside and her attempt at cheering me up was reluctantly working. The soft breeze made me shut my eyes. The party was still going on but none of us seemed to be in the mood. I already told Piper that there was no need to sulk along with me but she refused to leave me alone.

'First of all, my stupid cousin -god bless him- has a tendency of getting jealous. And you know how he is Ruwena. He's painfully immature some times.'

'What do you mean some times?'

'I freaking knew you'd say that. Anyway, keeping that aside, you kissed the boy he hates the most. Maybe if it were someone else, he wouldn't have reacted the way he did. Now, lets thank the Almighty that you didn't shove your tongue down his throat because that would have been a real problem.'

I shrugged, knowing that she did have a point. 'It'll be fine, buttercup. Trust me on this. Once he knows everything, then you'll realize that you're worrying over nothing.' Her hand was placed over my shoulder and I laid my head against hers.

Piper and I have been friends for a short period of time but I'm grateful for her. She, along with Bennet and Tate, taught me that the amount of years you've had with someone doesn't matter as long as they're there when you need them the most. It's true that none of them can fill in Aubree's shoes. I don't think anyone can. But it's more than safe to say that these people are equally important to me.

We abandoned all hope of finding either Tate or Bennet and hitched a cab home. When we got to my place, I offered Piper to stay in mine for the night but she politely declined. I payed my share and wished her a goodnight.

Taking off my heels, I looped the straps around my fingers and started to walk home. From outside, I could see that the television was turned on. It was still kind of early and I didn't really feel like going in, so I didn't. There was one more thing I wanted to cross off Bree's list tonight.

The last time I've been inside the tree house was a month after Aubree passed away. Visiting it alone just didn't seem right and there was just too many memories lodged into every corner that it was suffocating. I promised myself not to return but sometimes, promises were only made to be broken later on.

Trying my best not to make too much noise, I tiptoed my way to the base of the ladder that was attached to the tree. I placed my heels on the ground and slowly started climbing up. The distance from the ground to the tree house wasn't that high, but it wasn't nothing either.

The ruffling of the kitchen curtains caught my attention and I quickly pressed myself against the ladder with the hopes of being unseen. Counting to 30, I took a deep breath and glanced back at the kitchen window. My dad had his elbows on the counter and the side of his mouth was turned upright. His blue eyes danced with amusement as they made contact with mine, then he placed his index finger atop his lips and mouthed for me to be quick. I grinned maniacally at my father and then resumed my ascent.

Since I got a clear view of the tree house from my room, I thought that it would be enough to soothe the longing I had to come back to the place that was once my escape. But deep down I always knew that it wouldn't be enough and I was right. Coming back here after all this time is like coming back to the person you once used to be. Everything was exactly how I remembered it. Granted that it was a bit dusty, but it was still the safe haven of the same two girls that used to build dreams out of nothing.

I let myself embrace the familiar sting that was now forming at the back of my eyes. The room was empty, just like always. We wanted it to be spacious so that we could still fit even when we were older and right now I wish that I disagreed because there was just too much space. Too much space between me and my best friend.

Bottling up my emotions and trying to push them away was the wrong thing to do because now, they're all coming back to me. I'm tired of pushing so I let it engulf me completely.

Tears stream down my face in cascades as I choke down a sob. Breathing seemed difficult and my heart hurt tremendously. It was as if it were closing in on itself. This was where me and Aubree used to eat our stolen cookies. This was where we did our holiday assignments. This was where me and Aubree used to talk about boys. This place is me and Aubree except that it isn't because there's no Aubree anymore. There's just me.

Spotting the treasure box in the corner of the room, I drag my body to its location. It still felt the same under my shaky fingers. There was no point in keeping my feelings at bay because I surrendered to the sea of emotions and memories that demanded to be felt.

A painful smile formed itself on my lips as I opened the wooden box and saw it's contents. With a blurry vision, I picked up the first thing that my fingers skimmed over, a seashell with the date written on it in permanent marker that was slowly fading away; 13/3/2008.

The next object was a little sparkly purple ballerina that was caught mid-twirl. Then, the marble that I thought was a gobstopper. The coin Aubree's dad gave her when he came back from a trip to England. I found a lot of things from when we were kids or going through our embarrassing teen phases. A laugh escaped me when I found a neatly folded poster of Jessie McCartney.

No amount of money could compare to the treasure that lay in this box. Each of these objects, no matter how small or useless, was a token of our youth. They are fragments of our past. Pieces of our puzzles.

As much as I enjoyed reminiscing what once was, I wondered what Aubree wanted to organize in this treasure box. We always kept it the way it was. Maybe she wanted to change the box? But I don't think that would have been it. Frowning deeply, I tried to think what could Bree possibly mean by 'organize'. It just didn't make any sense.

I continued rummaging through the contents of the box and smiled at our childhood pictures and drawings, pages of the diary we wrote together and clusters of other paper pieces.

When the box was almost empty, something foreign caught my eye. It was too new to belong to a box full of old stuff. I picked the tiny red envelope up with confusion and then turn it to view the front. I gasped when I finally registered what it was.

I couldn't breathe. I forgot how to. Because at the front of the envelope, in the handwriting my mother once praised, were two sentences that robbed me from the capability of breathing.

To: the idiot I call my best friend.
I'm sorry.