The Other Way Around

Chapter 005

I feel like a real writer right now, phone light up loud music, a donut and a big steamy mug of coffee, Enjoy this chapter :)

The next day I walk into the hospital with two cups of starbucks, I left in the morning and slept until 2 in the day, It's now 8 in the evening, and I decided to bring Harry coffee, the way he likes it. Gemma has been alot with Harry, she is really worried, but Anne can't be here alot because she can't get any free form work, wich she really hates Harry said. I walk into Harry's room and I hear Gemma and him talk quietly. I am not sure what they are saying but it doesn't at all bother me anyways and I let them know that I am there, so I knock on the door. Harry looks up, and his whole face brightens up. ''Hey'' Gemma, stands up and gives her brother a last hug before leaving the room, smiling at me. ''how are you doing today?'' I ask Harry, He has been doing alot better, he only feels  really bad about driving his mothers car total loss. The only thing she is worried about is him at the moment, but what mother wouldn't. She is now driving Gemma's car. ''I got you Starbucks,'' I give him the cup with his name on it, but he puts it on the nightstand. '' I'll get out of here tonight.'' Harry doesn't look at me at all. ''Really that is like, awesome!'' I grab Harry's hand and plant a kiss on it. ''Yeah, I'm just really afraid to go to school, what do we tell them?'' finally he looks up to me.  ''well, everyone already knows you had an accident, words go quick around school.'' I tell him. ''No..'' Harry shakes his head. before he goes on. ''That's not totally what I meant, do we tell them about us?'' I think deep down I knew he wanted to come out to everyone in school, tell them about what we have been doing for the past weeks. But deep down, he should have known, that I was far from ready to do that, I am far from ready to label us, to call him my boyfriend, or worse, to let him tell everyone that I am his girlfriend. ''nothing.'' I whisper these words, afraid that he will get mad. ''Nothing? so at school we should just, act like we don't know eachoter?''
''Yes.. Harry why would it be important for them to know anyway, we don't have to act like we don't know eachoter, but we should keep it low at school, I am not ready for this.'' I keep my voice down, and calm.
''to me this is important, because I am not gonna stand there when every guy in school is all over you.'' Harry does raise his voice a little. ''I will deal with them, and if it bothers you so much, don't look at me.'' and with that me and my coffee are gone. I am not gonna listen to his jealous behavior. I know he schould be a little worried, because of my past and I get it.

At home I turned off my Phone because Harry kept calling, I just don't want to deal with him right now, I know he is probably at home right now, and I know i should have been there for him, but right now, I just want to focus on my homework.

It feels like ages ago I smoked when I light the cigarette, I am sitting outside on the floor against the wall. It's kind of cold but that is probably because it is begin january and I am no wearing a jacket. I never really regretted my lifestyle, i got away from home because life there was complicated, even though i loved my family and they loved me, I wasn't like them, but they accepted me. Right now, I wish I was just like the rest of the girls. I stand up when I ntice I am really really  cold, I notice my cigarette is long done. I stand up and walk inside, clear up my finished homework and pick up a book. It's a good book, I don't know this because I am paying attention to it right now, I know it because I've read this book many times before. It isn't a book most people would like, actually it isn't really a book that everyone knows about, you could ask any english teacher they wouldn't know what the story was about. But I do know that if you told them to read it, they would come to you and say "Yes, that was a good book" I think a book is good quick, I have to say. I could name at least 50 books that were beautifully written, who's characters were so understood by their writers, that I'd question myself if the writer didn't just put themselves in the book. Some characters do exactly what you'd think they would do in some sort situations, while other just take you unexpected where after you would slap your head and say " yes of course she would have chosen the cheese, she is alergic to peanuts so she couldn't choose peanutbutter" this was how much I am in love with books, now you would probably think That I want to become a writer or a publisher, but this is far from true.

A soft sound takes my attention away from my book, well not really the book but from the characters.

From Harry:
I'm on my way, be there in 10.

To Harry;
You are allowed to drive?

From Harry:
Yep don't discuss it.

To Harry:
Oh hell no you are not driving. I'll be picking you up be there in 15 be ready.

My way over to Harry is quick, and didn't last 15 minutes at all, even though I had to dress too. Harry was in my car before I turned it off, and he orders me to drive fast. "I can't go faster than this Harry I have speed limits." I tell him, making sure the annoyance is filled in my voice. " I'm sorry, It's just my mother is acting like a child" Harry is talking slow, and his voice is low. I just drive and don't say anything until my apartment is in view and I stop the car. " so you are just planning on staying at mines?"  I ask him. "Yes,  and maybe tomorrow, if you don't mind." He looks at me, his eyes full of hope" I can't stop my hand from stroking his hair. " of course,  make sure you go to your house tomorrow to pack some clothes. I could maybe empty a drawer or something for you." I tell him while opening my car door. His opens his quick after I closed mine, and I lock it. Harry takes my hand while walking up to the gigantic apartment building in front of us. I do feel a little uncomfortable but I don't take away my hand. The moment I closed my apartment door behind us I let go of Harry 's hand " Harry, you know I have never ever been in a relation ship. Yes?" I look at him, I'm serious and want to have to conversation I need him to understand how I am feeling. " look I can't jump in this kind of thing, I'm just afraid, I'm terrified." I bite my lip. " I just don't understand why?" Harry looks at me and takes both of my hands in his. "You are surrounded by many people who are deeply in love who's lives had turned out the way every one would want it to. Your family loves you, and I can just see how much you love your family it is not a secret." I throw my head back. ''It's not just that!''

I stop talking for a split second. ''and I don't want to talk about this, especially not with you.'' Harry let's go of my hand and looks hurt and I realise what I just said. ''Because I-I Just... You like me, you actually like me, and you haven't run away yet, and you can fucking stand to be around me? And you still want more, more than what we have now, you want to show everyone, you like a little fuck up. You want to call me your girlfriend, and you want to tell your friends that, and look at me smiling while saying that, and you probably want to go on many dates, and I...'' Again I'm quiet, and take a deep breath. ''I like how I feel when I am around you.'' The words aren't out for more than a second when I feel Harry cupped my cheeks with both his hands and he is kissing me, rough and full of passion. ''Can you lift me?'' I say before kissing his neck, he nods his head groaning and orders me to jump.. he walks me to my bedroom, where a few books lay on my bed. Harry just lays me on top of them and I slap them away. I switch swiftly so that I am on top of him and Kiss him again, the onlly thing important right now is my hands in his hair hand his shirt, wich is fast removed, on the ground.  ''please just, I will give you all of me, and I will go on dates, I just think for your sake, don't tell anyone at school. You can tell your parents, I'll tell mine if it makes you feel better, not at school.'' I bite his neck an pull his curls he groans. ''okay.'' I look up at him and smile, before I continue my sloppy kisses going down and down. '' I wanna make you feel good Harry? Please let me make you feel good.'' My hand travel their ways to his pants and he groans and then nods his head.

Hope you liked it :)

Xx.Q