Spideypool Oneshots

You're ExeggCUTE

Part Two

The next time Peter encountered Wade was as Spider-man, two weeks after running into him at the park. He had been on patrol when the merc hollered at him from below, waving his katanas around vigorously. Which, of course, caused people the panic.

"Wade!" Peter yelled exasperated, quickly swinging down towards him. "Put your weapons away. You're gonna get someone killed!"

"Spidey! Baby boy!" Wade cooed, engulfing the smaller man in a hug that would've broken a normal person's spine.

Luckily, Peter wasn't a normal person and found himself hugging back. Wade smelt like tacos and laundry detergent, which Peter would later praise him for; he very little washed the suit, and when he did, it would be because Peter would threaten to throw out his hefty collection of comics.

"Okay," said Peter, pulling back to peer up at the Merc. "I was just finishing up patrol, is there something you needed..?"

Wade seemed to visibly contemplate Peter's question, jutting out a hip and raising a finger to rest on his chin. "As a matter o' fact, yes! Catch Pokemon with me. I'm pretty sure I heard someone mention there being a Vulpix nearby, which is funny considering-"

"A Vulpix?" Peter interrupted, his phone appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

Wade looked to be watching the way Peter practically bounced with excitement, because he rested his palms over his heart and let out a soft 'aww' that Peter chose to ignore, before making a shooing motion.

"Well? Where is it? Let's go, lead the way!" Peter spoke, allowing Wade to grab his hand and drag him down the streets of New York. Normally, Peter wouldn't have willingly let Wade drag him anywhere so easily, but he had his head ducked down to look at his phone and nearby Pokemon. Embarrassingly enough, he was glad he had Wade there to guide him, otherwise he would've for sure been knocking into people.

Once they reached a sketchy looking alley, Wade stopped and gestured towards the dumpster with wide arms.

"Please tell me you're joking," Peter deadpanned, dreadfully facing the dumpster.

Wade nodded enthusiastically, but then lowered his voice and said, "I would never lie about a serious matter such as this."

Peter took this statement to heart, because this was a rather serious matter. It's not everyday you're faced with such a profound decision. It was either dumpster dive to obtain your favorite Pokemon, or go home empty handed with the knowledge of knowing you've passed up the chance of a lifetime

"If this all goes down in flames, I want you to know I cheated that time we played Yahtzee," Peter said, relieving himself of his sins.

Wade let out a gasp, and Peter hung his head in shame. Not unlike a puppy.

"Scandalous! Spidey, wait til' the Bugle gets wind of this!" Wade paused, and with a feigned distressed tone continued, "What else have you been lying to me about?"

He stroked his chin thoughtfully, deciding whether it was a good idea to give this piece of info to the Merc willingly or not. This could be game changing, Peter knew. It would probably happen a lot more often, specifically in public. Not that it didn't already happen in public, but if the Avengers were among the public when it happens, then he might have a bit of a problem. Peter made up his mind, nodding in finality.

"I actually don't mind it when you grab my ass."

That's it, all cards were on the table.

Wade squealed in delight, and with that final confession, they sashayed into the dumpster of opportunity.