There is a big storm going on. I wish I could say I was not scared. But as I am lying still in the dark, my tent moves along aggressively with the wind and every 10 seconds a bolt of lightning makes all my senses go numb for a short moment. The ground shakes softly because of the thunder. I can hear it rumbling in the mountains, still far away enough to make me feel a bit more safe. Still I am wishing it will stop soon before my tent and me will be blown away.
People like to say that there is nothing more unpredictable than the weather but I can tell you that you are not nearly as unpredictable. One moment you want to see me and the other moment you refuse to show more interest. I really do not know what it is that is bothering you. I am not wanting to give up on the hopes I used to have before going to Italy but I slowly am.
I imagined having lunch at a restaurant by the boulevard. I imagined long walks with hands intertwined. I imagined meeting your dad and staying at your place for dinner. Drinking wine until the sun had long disappeared behind the mountains. Opening another bottle because we finally could. I imagined seeing you while going out and you intending on bringing me back to the camping but your house would be closer. I would be too tired to reject. I imagined waking up in your arms with my head on your chest and the purest feeling of joy rushing over me.
But it's just imaginations. Instead I am here, hidden under these damned sheets. Alone under these damned cold sheets that barely protect me from the countless mosquitoes and should now not only protect me from the unpredictable weather but also from the unpredictable you. Because it is always a guess to which version of you I will wake up to.
YOU ARE READING
Today, I love you
Literatura Faktumy thoughts and experiences concerning the tragic thing called love.
