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i. cold hands
THE GIRL SLOWLY OPENED HER eyes, the skies above her were bright, the sun blinded her eyes, but at the same time made her feel almost comfortable as she was laying there on the cold ground. Where was she?
She raised her hand to keep the sun from blinding her, a pale hand appeared in front of her, it was only after a few seconds that she realised that the pale hand was hers. She slowly raised her other hand, this one was slightly less pale, but it felt empty and cold, almost as if someone had been holding her hand just seconds ago, but she was alone.
She twisted her hands in the sky, the feeling of a soft breeze against her skin was almost foreign, as if she hadn't been outside in years. Maybe that was true, she didn't know.
Everything felt as if she had been sleeping, but wasn't completely ready to wake up again, so someone forcefully woke her up from her slumber, creating a cold empty feeling that she didn't know how to get rid of.
She didn't know anything.
Who was she?
She couldn't remember, she couldn't remember anything. She tried and she tried and she tried, but there was nothing, only the feeling of being lost and forgotten.
But she felt like she should remember something. A name, a face, a place? A girl, a friend or maybe even something more? She didn't know.
She then realised that she was completely alone and forgotten, it was almost like no one had cared enough to hold her hand and tell her where she had to go to feel complete again. But she didn't know who had abandoned her, she didn't know who had forgotten her.
And maybe it was all her own fault, maybe she had been the one to walk away, maybe she had abandoned someone that was in desperate need of a hand to hold. Maybe she had abandoned the girl that she should remember. She didn't know.
Was she a good person or a bad person?
She didn't know. Maybe she was a criminal, maybe this was her second chance. Or maybe she had died. Was this heaven? Is this what the afterlife felt like? She didn't know.
Or maybe this was hell, she must have done something terrible to deserve a fate like this, a fate full of emptyness, without her memories to keep her company when she needed it the most.
Maybe it was a good thing that she had no memory of anything she had ever done. She didn't want the memories of the terrible things she must have done to haunt her.
But there was something else that was haunting her, the feeling that she should remember something or someone. A girl, a name, a face. A smile, a place, anything.
The skies darkened and clouds appeared in front of the sun, taking away the light that had made her feel a little less lost and forgotten.
The questions darkened her mind like the clouds had darkened the sky.
Was she a good person? Did she even deserve to be alive?
