Broken Waves

0.1

It's been 5 years, every year a struggle to move. It's been 1,825 days, each day hard for me to wake up. It's been 43,800 hours, each hour hard for me to breathe. It's been 282,800 minutes, each minute hard for my eyes to stay open. It's been 16,980,000 seconds, since the crash. The crash that marked the end of 5 Seconds of Summer. The crash that took my Michael away. I looked up at the clock, the seconds ticking by. I had barely left my room, only on occasion to get food from the kitchen and one a month to go the grocery store. I didn't deal with anything else. Ashton and Calum did all that. They got over the death of Michael almost a year after the crash. I would never get over it. Not until I was holding him in my arms again. I had tried so many times to end it all. End my life. Ashton was the one who usually found me, carvings lining my arms, pills scattered around me, my chest struggling to take in air, broken beyond repair. I tried to get better I really did but the memory of Michael would always come back and weigh me down. At first I would wear his shirts. That helped for almost a year before their scent turned to mine. I had already gone through all his clothes and none smelled as wonderful as he did anymore.

I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling as always, my eyes blank and emotionless. Today was different though. I had the urge to get out of bed, an urge that had been missing for years. I slowly stood up and put on the only clean pair of skinny jeans I could find and an old ratty band tee shirt. I didn't bother to fix my hair, I wasn't going out to the world only to sit in the living room. I didn't know if it was day or night. The windows in my room had been boarded, I wanted no light. Day and night merged into one for me. I slowly made my way to the living room, shielding my eyes from the bright light coming from the Windows. It was too bright for me so I curled into a blanket on the couch, hiding my eyes. Moments later footsteps were heard so I poked my head out from the blanket, only enough to see who was there.

"Oh Luke! You decided to come out today?" Ashton greeted, sitting down beside me. Even though we lived in the same house it was hard for me to remember the last time I had seen him.

"Yeah, I was feeling cooped up a bit," I answered my voice hoarse from no use. I let my eyes adjust slowly to the brightness, looking into the kitchen. I remembered when Michael would stand in there, hovering over two frozen pizzas, daring anyone to try and take them from him. My eyes brimmed with tears as I stared off, memories flowing through my head. This was why I never left my room. Everywhere else had memories that were too much for me to handle.

"Hey," Ashton said while placing a hand on my leg, breaking me out of thought, "You are doing great Luke. I'm glad you decided to come into here with us."

I looked up at Ashton and saw that Calum had appeared behind Ashton with a few tears in his eyes. Most likely at seeing me. I was paler than a ghost, my eyes dull, bags under my eyes. Half my body weight was gone and my shoulders slumped. My hair has grown long and ratty and an ugly stubble was on my chin.

"Calum don't cry, it doesn't help," I stated and sat up.

"But it hurts. Seeing you like this over someone who is de-" Calum starred but was cut off by Ashton.

"Don't say it Calum. Don't say it. It's hard for the both of us but imagine Luke. Coming out here to say hi and you reminding him of why he's been cooped up all this time. Don't. Say. It."

Calum closed his mouth, looking down. I wasn't blind enough to see the few tears that fell. Almost a year into my disappearance I overheard Calum screaming at Ashton. Something about how it's bad enough that they lost Michael but they also lost me. I sighed and sat up.

"I should be going back to my room now," I looked at Calum. This was for the best. If I locked myself away in my own pain so I didn't cause others pain.

"N-No Luke stay. I- we miss you," Calum sniffled.

I sighed and slumped back down again. Ashton smiled and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. I nestled my head into his warm shoulder.

"Ash are you still playing the drums?" I asked.

"Not much anymore. I've been busy with work," he said gently.

"Work?" I asked confused.

"Yeah since the band fizzled I got a real job to keep the house and keep up with the bills. It's down at that Hot Topic store."

"Oh," I nodded in understanding.

Suddenly the phone began to ring. I winced at the loud sound before it stopped, Calum picking up the receiver.

"It's for Luke?" He asked into the phone.

"Luke Hemmings? Are you sure. He usually doesn't take calls anymore."

"Oh alright." Calum spoke into the phone before pulling it away, holding a hand over the speaker.

"Luke it's for you," Calum spoke, handing me the phone.

I furrowed my brows and picked it up. "Hello? This is Luke."

"Hi Mr. Hemmings.  I'm calling on regards to a number you put on an information form about 5 years ago." The man said behind the phone.

"Yes? What form might that be?"

"The one about Michael Clifford sir," he said. My breath caught in my throat. No one said his name. It was too hard. Too hard for any of us to deal with the pain.

"Y-Yes what about him?" I asked, choking back a broken sob.

"This morning at 7:43 am he was found afloat and unconscious in the Pacific Ocean by a cruise liner. He is on his way to the Sydney airport now. His flight lands in two hours." My hands shook. No. My entire body shook. My breathing ragged.

"A-A-Are you s-sure?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"Yes sir. He asked for us to contact you first."

"O-Ok... We-we'll be there. Thank you! Thank you!" I hung up a large smile on my face. The first smile in 5 years.

Ashton and Calum looked to me in confusion. "You haven't smiled like that since..." Ashton trailed off, his face suddenly changing as he realized the reason for my smile. "Michael."

A/N
Hey so first chapter... I wanna know what you guys think!!! Please comment. My editor and co-writer is HachuruiWolfeh so go check out her page! Anyways thank y'all for reading and please leave suggestions and comments. I wanna know if I should continue this story or not. Anyways byeee!
~Jace