The One, who always laughs!

Good and bad times

Greetings from the middle of nowhere.

Xoxo

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Amanda's PoV

The following weeks where the happiest in my life. Si took me everywhere. We spend days in the Hyde Park and in the Kensington Garden, laying on the grass discuss everything that came to our mind. He took me to the London zoo and to the Globe Theater, where we watched Shakespeare's 'Measure for measure'. We kissed and enjoyed being in each others arms. The newspapers wrote about "the new Great Britain dream couple"," Britains got couple", since Dalesha came out with their relationship. We did tell no one about my illness, not even my family or David an Alesha. It was hard, but I wanted it that way. No matter how beautiful these weeks were, the day with the surgery is coming nearer and I can tell that I am totally afraid about how all the things are going to be.

"Amanda darling wake up!" Simon whispers in my ear. He gives me a light kiss on the nose to wake me up. "I don't want to! Please let me sleep." I mumble and hide my face in the pillows. I can say, that Simon is smiling now, and I should have known, what comes next. He starts tickling me. I couldn't control myself and begin to laugh out loud. "Simon, babe! Please stop!" I beg through my laughs. "I am going to stop, when you promise me to get up." He answers me, not stopping what he is doing to me. "Ok, Ok I promise!" He stops and I take a deep breath. I still can't stop giggling and Si just rolls his eyes. It like always. "Now get out of the bed girly." he says again and this time I nearly jump out of the bed and make my way to the bathroom. When I step out, my eyes catch the hospital bag, Simon and I prepared a few days ago. Even when the doctors tell me, that the surgery is nothing unusual or special and they are used to it, I am afraid. I cried a lot of times since I got the diagnosis. I sit down on the edge of my bed and start struggling with everything that happend to me. Slowly and silent start the tears running down my face falling into my open hands.

I do not know how long I was sitting there, when I hear someone opening the door. I don't have to look up, to know who is standing there in the door frame and I don't care about the tears. I don't blame myself for these tears anymore. Simon walks up to me. He knees down in front of me and taking my hands in his. He slowly starts to talk to me :" Hey darling, please stop crying. You know my heart breaks if you cry like this."

Simons PoV

She looks up and with her red puffy eyes directly in mine. " Sometimes I wish that I could turn back the time and take all the sadness and the pain away..." "But if you do that,.." I interrupt her"...think about, that all the happy times could be gone as well." She looks irritated at me. "Look" I continue "if you would not have had this affair during your first marriage, then you maybe never would have gotten the seat on the judges panel and we probably have never met like we did." I could tell by looking into her eyes that she thinks about the words I said. "And if you take your illness now, if you wouldn't get this diagnosis, we probably never ended up as a couple."

I just give her some time to think about my words. After a few moments she whispers:" You are right. You are absolutely right. If I wouldn't get through this rough times, I wouldn't be the person I am now, and I am a lucky person."