Skulduggery Pleasant Spoof: The Holiday

Chapter Four: The Beach

“Whoa, I never knew exactly what girls looked like while they were sleeping. I mean, who knew that they would look so, well messy.”

“What were you expecting? Them to be looking like sleeping beauty?”

Ghastly and Skulduggery stood in front of Valkyrie and Tanith with their heads cocked.

Tanith had her head and arms hanging over the edge and was now facing the wrong way with one leg straight up in the air and the blanket barely covering her.

Valkyrie was still facing the right way but her mouth was hanging wide open and her face smushed onto the pillow and she was curled into a ball.

Skulduggery shook Valkyrie’s shoulder. She jerked awake and blinked her eyes open.

“What time is it?” she mumbled sleepily.

“It’s eleven o’ clock, you missed breakfast.”

Valkyrie grabbed her pillow and threw it at Tanith’s head. “Tanith wake up, we missed breakfast.”

The pillow hit Tanith and she snorked awake. “Pancakes.” She mumbled then slowly rolled over and sat up.

The two girls stretched and yawned and scratched themselves.

The boys looked at each other confused at how girls woke up.

“Um, where’s China?” Skulduggery asked.

The girls both pointed at the bathroom.

Even more confused Skulduggery and Ghastly walked over to the bathroom and peered in.

China was sprawled out in the bathtub, an arm hanging off the edge and her face, like Valkyrie’s, was smushed into her pillow. The blanket was tangled in her legs and she was quietly snoring.

Skulduggery and Ghastly looked at each other shocked that China could look so undignified.

Before either of them could do anything Tanith and Valkyrie barged into the bathroom, things in hand.

“Wake up Prissy,” Tanith said, grabbing the pillow from underneath China’s head and whapping her with it.

China squealed and grabbed the pillow and whacked Tanith with it. “I’m up, I’m up,” she mumbled as she sat up, stretched and yawned and scratched herself in the regular girl wake up.

She climbed out her make-shift bed and routine.

Valkyrie looked over and saw Ghastly and Skulduggery still standing there.

“Go away,” she said and pushed them out and slammed the door.

One Hour Later…

Valkyrie, China, Tanith, Skulduggery, Ghastly and Fletcher headed over to the front door.

China and Valkyrie and Tanith were jabbering about the awesome places they were going to go today.

Skulduggery pushed the door. It didn’t open. He cocked his head and tried again. Nothing.

Skulduggery put both hands on the door and pushed at it again. He grunted as he dug his heels into the ground and pushed even harder.

“Skulduggery it says pull,” China said.

Skulduggery stopped and looked at the giant three inch red block letters above the door handle that said, PULL.

“Oh,” Skulduggery pulled the door open and China sighed. “Honestly Skulduggery, sometimes you’re just a dumb, dweeb, loser, man-child that can’t read the simplest things.”