She had known him for years
She knows him so well
She knows everything about him
Except his feelings
His feelings are unreadable
Sometimes she thinks she got it all figured out
Other times, she's not really sure
Sometimes she thinks he is so confusing
But other times she thinks it's just her mind overthinking things
She can't blame him for being so confusing
Maybe he doesn't know that he is confusing her
Maybe he doesn't mean to be confusing
Maybe actually he isn't confusing
And it's just her mind playing tricks and shoving hopeful thoughts on her
She doesn't know what to expect from him
Her mind would think of a million things
But most of the times, she thinks maybe she shouldn't expect anything at all
For expecting only lead to hurting
And she already had enough of hurt in the past
All those years she has doubts
About his actions
About his words
About his feelings
About him.
Someday, he would be nice to her
Like, too nice
And that was when her doubts occured
Her mind would ask many questions she couldn't answer
"Why is he being like this?"
"Is he act like this to everyone else, or just to me?"
When she thinks maybe it's just the way he is,
She would push him away
In order to push away her own feelings
And to save herself
She has doubts;
Whether to let him in,
or keep him outside her walls
Because she knows,
She is aware that by letting him in,
She is giving him power over her heart
And she is so afraid he will break it
And leave her alone to pick up the remaining pieces
And try to, somehow, glue them back together
If it's even possible
Sometimes she wish she can read his mind
But she is too afraid
She is afraid of what will she find in his thoughts
She doesn't even know which one she's more afraid of;
Find herself in his mind, or
Find someone else.
She wants him to talk to her, and tell her things she needs to hear in the clearest, most understandable words possible.
She needs him to make everything out in the open, just so she can get rid of her doubts.
Even if the things are not what she had expected, it will be better than keeping her in the dark and have her thoughts playing with her.
Because at least,
at least,
Everything will be crystal clear.
And she can finally decide,
Whether to stay or move on.
--------
YOU ARE READING
Her Side Of The Story
PoetryStories from my point of view, basically what's on my mind. Sometimes it's about my own life and experiences, other times it's just what randomly pops up in my mind. Each and every poem is written by me, unless stated otherwise. Read, vote, and comm...
