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13

international players anthem

recall how yesterday i was in the best of moods? everything in my life was going smoothly so i had no worries? that is no longer the case for today. nothing had changed in the 24 hours except for my state of mind. i have no explanation for why i feel as down as i do. i woke up this morning with no energy in me; quizzical as to why i even woke up. it was as if i had no purpose.

usually this is something i would run to tell lana about, since she's always been able to help me figure out my feelings and what may have caused them. i did reach for my phone so i could confide in her; however, when i read the messages she sent me last night it only dampened my mood even further into that dark state.

from: Sailor Moon

i'm being childish? you're the one being childish!

from: Sailor Moon

you were probably over there flirting with that bitch while you were on the phone with me anyways

from: Sailor Moon

if i meant so much to you then it shouldn't be so hard to respect how i feel. i miss the hell out of you and i just want to see your face, is that too much to ask from you?

from: Sailor Moon

you're just trying to spin this all back on me. like it's all my fault.

from: Sailor Moon

malachai

from: Sailor Moon

so you're not going to respond?

from: Sailor Moon

fine.

most of those messages were back to back. i didn't understand what was wrong with her last night, i hope she comes to her senses today. because i really don't like how this is going.

so now i have no one to talk to about my problems because she's acting funny.

i regretfully pulled myself out of bed, as soon as i raised my body up and off the bed i felt impeccably lightheaded. i truly feel as if i'm sick, but i know i'm not. there's no virus inside of me but i have all of the symptoms of someone very ill. my entire body felt like it was going through a very rough time.

i had on grey polo ralph lauren pajama pants with the red logo covering the fabric along with a white t shirt. that was good enough for me so i slid on some socks and nike slides. i'm starving so i think that by going to get some food might bring up my mood. it was a quiet 10 minute stroll to the best jamaican spot in the united states. yes i'm taking it there. as i entered the smell of fresh cocoa bread almost made me cry.

"good afternoon mama higgins."

"ah dat fi mi bwoy malachai? wah mek haven't yuh been by to see mi lately?" mama higgins scolded me from not coming around much. she knows me because my mom and i have been frequenting this restaurant since it's opening 9 years ago.

"my sincerest apologies, mama. there's no excuse, i'll make sure to do better."

"i'll be holding yuh to fi yuh wuh. now fi yuh regular?" she asked me if i wanted my regular order.

"yes ma'am" after ordering curry chicken, cornbread and a beef patty i sat down to wait for my food. i didn't even notice that my shoulders were doing a little happy jig.

The bell attached to the door rang as a customer strolled in the door. i didn't bother looking up from my phone as i stared at lana and i's messages, trying to figure out if i should sweep it under the rug since it was the first time she's ever tripped like this; or if i should carry this on and try to get her head on straight. i love lana, she may not know that yet but despite the love i got for her i refuse to deal with her childish antics.