The First Smile, Reborn

The Time Has Come

(Rosemary's POV)

I felt nervous, scared, and ashamed. I kept thinking; 'If I could've beaten him then, this wouldn't have happened..' I knew blaming myself wouldn't do anything. But it was all that I could think about. Soon when everyone was talking, my ears shut off. I didn't listen, or hear them for any matter. I was trying to focus on my inner thoughts, until one word finally broke my thoughts. "We might even need to get help from ghouls." That word 'ghouls' broke me free from any form of thoughts. "Ghouls? Are you sure we can even rely on them anymore? They can go nuts any minute and you know it." Ciel said it with such confidence, it almost made me mad. I held my breath for a moment, and noticed that Sukimi saw me dozing off into space. "Rosemary, you've been quiet for quite a long time. What's up?" She gave me this look of pure serenity, I could almost see concern, but I knew she just was getting me back from what I did with Ciel.

"Oh, uh.. Sorry. I was concentrating on the problem at hand and then bam! Suddenly we're talking about ghouls." I let out a nervous laugh, trying to keep myself from passing out in front of everyone. A blush filled my cheeks, and I felt embarrassment rise over me. I suddenly let my head go down toward my chest, I knew they could see I was lying. "Well.. What do you think we should do Lu?" Ciel asked almost weirded out. "I think we should rely on the ghouls, like Aisha said. They can help, as long as they don't cross the line." Lu said it hesitantly, knowing what could become of it. She knew us ghouls could turn on humans any second. Lu let out a sigh of relief as everyone nodded agreed. "Then it's decided, we'll contact the society that has ghouls that can help us." 

As we all stood up, we bowed, then left. I felt comfortable leaving, but still very ashamed. I looked at Sukimi as she talked with Lu and Ciel. They laughed and I smiled. They were trying their best to be happy, but I couldn't be. I could see it in Sukimi's eyes how tired she was, and how sadden she was from the whole situation, but she kept on a smile. 

As we reached home, I noticed that Ciel and Sukimi got closer, and closer. I even watch them make out. I was jealous, but I kept my feelings hidden. Lu sat across from me on the dining table and looked at me with a serious expression. "You shouldn't doze off during serious conversations. Didn't your mother or father ever teach you manners?" I could tell she was mad, she even let out a sigh. I knew she was disappointed. I looked down to my thighs and felt tears enter my eyes but quickly blinked them away. "I'm sorry." I chocked, she still looked at me with a serious, stern face. "It's fine, just don't do it again." I let out a small sigh and brought my head up, I put on a small smile and she gasped. She could see the sadness I was holding back. Her eyes widened, and she stared. She could see the madness, sadness, and disappointment I was holding behind me. It almost looked like she was afraid. But then I realized, why she stared in such disbelief. My kagune was out. I saw it around my leg and stared. "Wait! Lu, i-it's-" Before I could finish, she let out a scream. Sukimi and Ciel stopped making out and ran to Lu's side, only to see my secret. I felt hot tears run down my face, and I kept sobbing. Lu quickly ran outside, Ciel and Sukimi following behind her to calm her down, or to catch her. I fell on my knees, and kept sobbing. I felt myself almost faint, but then Sukimi came to my side. "Hey.." She put her hand on my back and rubbed it softly. "It's okay.. Shh, shh.." She looked at me with such concern and worry. I kept feeling the tears running down my face, eventually my kagune disappeared and I could finally breathe without wanting to eat. She gave me a small smile, and continued to rub my back until I stopped crying.

As I finally was able to stand on my legs, she led me to the couch and sat me down. "Hey.. What happened?" She gave me soft, concerning eyes, and I couldn't help but spill. "I-I.. Don't know Sukimi.. I just gave her a smile, and then suddenly her face.. Changed.. She looked fearful and I didn't realize my kagune, or eyes, had come out.." I chocked on the words, but I was able to let out that much. I hiccuped, and she patted my back softly. She gave me a soft smile, "Okay, okay.. It's okay now, Lu has calmed down and me and Ciel just told her she was too tired and just must've saw things.. Luckily, she believed us and went to bed right after your kagune disappeared. But Ciel knows what he saw.. He knows it was no hallucination and he wants to know what you are." She let out a small sigh and all the soft comfort in her face, contorted into something more devious and mad. "I recommend you just tell him that you were just joking. That it was just to scare people, and you made it seem real."

I told Ciel the lie Sukimi told me to say. He didn't believe it all the way, but he believed it. Eventually, everything went back to normal. But, my feelings stayed. I replayed that night over and over, and I kept blaming myself. Eventually I was in a horrible mental state, in only a few days. I kept putting on my normal smile, but sometimes I'd have to fake it. It was true, I was depressed.

I kept myself in a shell, not wanting to escape. But the good part is, eventually we contacted the Ghoul Society. They answered back with a gleeful surprise and agreed to our terms, and will be sending us three ghouls within two weeks. Sadly, their all boys, not one girl. I'm not sad about it, I'm just sad about the fact no girls stepped up. Well, I'll be the first. I decided to sign up for the Ghoul Society. And I signed up for that exact thing, to be the only female in the group. It did cause me to be absent for a few days, and probably will, funny enough Sukimi, Lu, and Ciel keep texting me, wondering where am I. From now on, I have blue/white hair, and I wear make-up to hide my original face. I even wear thug like clothes in a way. 

Soon everyone will see, the real me.