Enlightening Stories

Liam Gallagher's Tricycle

Noel Gallagher had given his brother Liam one of those adult tricycles for his birthday. Liam was very happy. He joined a tricycle club and took his tricycle to Sunday School and the church youth group. However, the tricycle really bothered Noel. Noel wished he had never gotten Liam that tricycle. One day, Noel had had enough of Liam and the tricycle. Noel took his handicapped scooter, and tried to run over Liam, which didn’t work out very well. Noel also found out from his neighbor that if you run someone over, you will go to jail. Noel didn’t want to be one of the jail people, so he thought it would be a good idea to run over just the tricycle. Noel took his handicapped scooter and went to run over the tricycle. Sadly, the small scooter wasn’t able to destroy the evil tricycle. Noel had a brilliant idea. He would take the tricycle upstairs, then throw it out the window. He soon dismissed that idea because he was too lazy to carry a tricycle up the stairs, let alone open a window. Finally, Noel stopped being stupid and thought of the most amazing idea to get rid of Liam’s tricycle. He would take the tricycle and leave it on the road, waiting for a car or a speeding redneck truck to run over the tricycle.

The tricycle was in the middle of the road, and Noel was waiting by the road. Noel was so frustrated because all of the cars would go around the tricycle instead of running it over. Finally, a strange man with overalls was driving a tractor down the street. Noel was overjoyed that the tractor would kill the tricycle! Apparently, the tractor person was Morrissey, who had joined the anti-running things over group, and didn’t run over the tricycle. After waiting a couple hours, Noel was getting worried that Liam would come to his house screaming about the tricycle. Then something joyous happened. Johnny Marr came speeding down the road in his redneck pickup truck and ran over the tricycle. Noel was the happiest person and celebrated by going to the beer store.