CHRONOLYMPUS

Chapter IV: I Discover that I Used to Live on a 'Nose' (It'll Make Sense)

―Z―

When I got back down to Boston, I entered my apartment building to see that Orion, Gina, and Dad were loading things into our cars. I decided not to tell Orion about my talk with Gaea until the time was right. The last thing I needed was more panic among us. "How'd it go?" Orion asked as he tossed a duffel bag for me to carry. "Did you find any others?"

"Yeah," I answered as I picked up a few suitcases that were set down beside him. "Three more, actually."

Orion whistled, impressed. "Who were they?"

We made our way down the stairs as I answered, "Artemis, Apollo, and... Hades."

"You met our big bro?" he asked excitedly. Orion had always wanted siblings, especially a brother. "What's he like?"

I thought about Castor and how it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with me. "Er... he didn't seem super excited to meet me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I did shitty things to him when I was Zeus, and he still holds them against me."

"Oh," Orion replied, sounding a bit disappointed. "Can't blame him there. Didn't you, like, shape-shift and made yourself look like him, then get with his wife?"

I pressed my palm to my face, groaning. I was such a jerk in my past life, and everyone seemed to know it. "Unfortunately, yes. I was a horrible person. Can we switch gods? I don't want to be Zeus anymore."

Orion laughed. "You don't even know the half of it, dude. You know that Hades' wife was your daughter, right? Damn, you were a sick bastard."

I stopped in my tracks, and my stomach lurched. I put my hand over my mouth to keep my puke from spilling everywhere. I impregnated my own daughter?! I screamed inwardly. I-I couldn't have done that! I couldn't have been that messed up! Orion's just messing with you! Don't listen to his bullshit!

"And by the way," Orion continued, "her mom was our older sister, Demeter, so I guess incest was your thing. And you might have raped her...? I'm not sure about that one. You got with so many women that I could hardly keep track. It's a wonder how your children weren't born with six toes or something. Oh yeah, your wife, Hera, was one another one of our older sisters, too. And you cheated on her, like, a billion times. But at least you guys had an awesome wedding, right? Man, we got so shit-faced afterwards! If Dionysus was there, we would have had hangovers for weeks!"

I was so tempted to throw up all over Orion to shut him up, but I resisted the urge. I was an incestuous rapist and a cheater who couldn't keep his junk in his pants or robe or whatever for two seconds. If I did all this terrible shit to so many of the other gods, there was a chance that they might not choose to join our cause. I got lucky with Castor. The other gods probably hated my guts more than he did.

"Please tell me you were lying," I said queasily when we began walking down the stairs again.

"I am many things, Z, but I am not a liar," Orion said. "And to be fair, I also raped Demeter but in the form of a horse, so I was pretty messed up, too. Besides, I went easy on you. I didn't tell you how Dionysus and that bitchy know-it-all, Athena, was born. I fucking hate her."

Orion wouldn't say that he hated someone unless he really meant it. He was friends with almost everyone at school, and it seemed like he could get along with anyone (which is surprising, considering how annoying the guy can be at times). If he really did hate Athena that much, something huge must have happened in our past lives.