PEEK

chapter 8: hyunjoong

Hyun joong led me into my room, holding me tight on my waist. I made glances on him once in a while. He looks like an angel. My heart is beating so calm beside him, compare with kyu, every time im with kyu I feel like im suffocating myself. Too much care from him. But with this guy, what is it? What is this feeling I have right now. I questioned myself while staring at this guy holding me. I feel safe even if he doesn’t say he cares for me.

I felt my vision is getting blurry due to the crystals forming on my eyes, without any reason, why I feel like I am missing him, like I want him to hug me, comfort me. Why I feel like I was with his arms before.

We reach my room, I didn’t even notice that he is holding me that long. He opened my door and we both enter inside. I look down to the floor as I stopped when he closed the door behind us.

“What’s wrong? He softly asked.

“nothing…I replied looking up to him, with this watery eyes of mine.

“if nothing, why are you crying? He questioned hugging me again, like I wanted him to do.

“why are you doing this to me? Why kyu act the same like you to me? Why the kids are close to me? Why tao and kris seems keeping something from me? Why my auntie avoids telling me what really happens to my brother? I’m in mess right now. I keep seeing things that I haven’t done yet,,,yet I see my own self doing things like those? I cried, finally the tears that were just threatening to escaped were finally fallen down to my cheeks.

“those were just hallucinations, dreams maybe…hyun joong said comforting me warmly..

“but why? Why I keep hallucinating, dreaming those, they are not dreams, I can see my brother clearly. In the kitchen, I saw him, with his eyes pleading at me, he keeps saying to not be close to him? Whose him? Whose that him that I need to avoid? Why I need to avoid that person? I question and let all the questions that was created in my mind.

“can you trust me? He cupped my face and stare at me straight in my eyes..

Without thinking twice, I nodded and locked my eyes in his. I slid my two arms on his waist once again and hugged him tightly.

“can I tell you something? He said and I nodded again,,

He led me on my bed and we sited in the middle of the bed staring at each other. Caressing my face, my arms, my hair and soon he took out my glasses.

“I like you,,,and I’m willing to protect you…he uttered while putting my glasses on the side table..

“what are you to my brother? I asked all of a sudden..

“your brother is special to me, and I regret that I didn’t able to protect him. I will not let you be harm, I will not let something bad will happen to you, I’m going to protect you,,,he told me with those sincere eyes looking on me, his touch of care and the words that soothes my deepest heart.

“hyun joong..but~~~ I tried to protest when he lean closer on me..

“push me if you don’t want to do it…he said..

He lean on more closer until our nose brushes to each other. I grip on the sheets and shut my eyes, feeling his breath until I felt this warm touch on my lips, this soft lips touching mine until I gave in and felt the desire that he was giving to me. I responded and locked my hands on his neck instead of pushing him. He slowly lay me on that soft sheets without parting on our kisses.

There were flashes that I remember, we were on this same bed, full of desire and lust. Making out, his deep kisses on me, the touch, were all the same. But I ignore all of those, my body is weak to push him now, and it’s too late to cut everything that happens at the present. I’m into it, I long for this. This is my first time, but it seems like it’s happening for the second time already. I pant, I moan, and I felt he’s enjoying the response that I am giving to him. I don’t know why we ended up in here, the only thing I know is my heart and mind says I want to do it too.