PEEK

chapter 12: diary and my heart

A/N: unedited

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My day seems gone when I saw the dark pitch of night outside my window. I didn’t notice, I spent the whole day reading of my brother’s diary. Crumpled tissues scattered on my bed due to my tears that randomly ran down to my cheeks. I cried a lot while in the process of knowing how hard my brother’s life was.

Im in a relationship with kyu, I don’t know why but I can’t just refuse to him. His kisses soften me, his hugs makes me warm. He’s easy to get along maybe, hope this relationship will work. And I am thankful to have him with me from now on.

So much hopes from my brother for kyu. He loved him maybe. But I don’t know what happen. As I browse the files after it, I found out that he was happy at first with him, so much dates given by kyu to him. He’s into him aside from some notes having fights with him. I was glad at first knowing he became happy but the next few files were all about their arguments. And my heart sank again.

We fight, we argue for the nth time this day. Why he’s too jealous at nothing. I didn’t know that his mind is too narrow and can’t accept even a simple explanation, or he doesn’t really understand it, or rather, he doesn’t want to understand it. Ren is close to me, why he needs to be jealous of him. The kids loves me and they treat me as their hyung, but why he wants e to get away from them? It hurts me a lot when ren wants to talk to me but kyu always snatch the opportunity for the poor kids to talk to me. I haven’t  chat with them for a couple of weeks. I see ren’s sad eyes whenever he’s staring at me, wanting to hug me or hung unto me like he always do.

I know he’s sad, my brother is sad because of it. Now I get it why ren and the kids are too attach to me. They miss their gil young hyung. Ren is just adorable, the kids makes my heart calm and warm. Now I understnd why ren dislikes kyu. Kyu just stole the moment that is supposedly for them all.

I hate it already, I hate the fact that I feel alone again. My little brothers are gone, I rarely talk to the couple, jungmin and hyung jun are busy with their own things. Kyu slapped me this day. What did I do?, I just went out with my boss’ dinner treat. I just get along with my band member at the club. I hate him, I just regret that I accepted him as my boyfriend. He is too selfish. I didn’t know that he’s all like this . Selfish, greedy, he looks like a devil whenever he’s mad.

He says with so much irritations in his statement. I can feel the annoyance in his heart, and the pain. He regret it. But why he didn’t broke him up. Wy he stayed as his boyfriend. Ahh no,, hyun joong is there, I thought and quickly go next after searching about hyun joong. I quickly read until I found a fie containing the day hyun joong has come.

“hyung, dinner time, everyone, let’s go eat. Want to join us? We set a grill on the garden. Sehun opened my door after 3 knocks and peek inside my room.

“ahhh …de..I simply replied, distracted a little when sehun showed, my reading was cut. I close the laptop and immediately unplug it and place it inside my closet.

“what are you doing? Sehun asked when I came to him on the door..

“nothing..just browsing..I said and smiled at him, holding him on waist and we headed in the garden.

Jungmin and hyung jun were grilling, kirs and tao just arrived too, the kids are cutting fruits and veggies, hyun joong is making some side dishes and kyu jong is preparing the drinks.

“hyung! How’s your day? Kris went to me and asked..

“I’m fine.. Sorry for the other day….I response with  a very low tone, making sure that hyun joong and kyu won’t hear us…