c'est la vie

Entry # 1

May mga yugto tayo sa buhay na nais nating balik balikan. May mga yugto na hindi natin masara sara. Mga yugto na pumipigil saatin mamuhay sa kasalakuyan. Pakibalik naman ang konting minuto ng nakaraan sa nakaraang hindi nya kayang pakawalan.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Ninoy Aquino International Airport. Local time is 1:27pm and the temperature is 28 degrees celsius. For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the Fasten Seat Belt sign. This will indicate that we have parked at the gate and that it is safe for you to move about. "

I could already feel how humid this place was. Already miss Paris' breeze. It's just 3 months Alice. It wouldn't hurt you. I hope it wouldn't.

"Please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight. If you require deplaning assistance, please remain in your seat until all other passengers have deplaned. One of our crew members will then be pleased to assist you."

I gather my belongings, almost dropped my apple pencil. Got bored on this 18 hour flight, so drew some sketches, jot down some ideas for my next piece. Maybe the pain that I escaped from this place would spark my next award winning piece.

"On behalf of Philippine Airlines and the entire crew, I'd like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice day!"

I almost dropped my belonging when I bumped into someone on my way out "Désolé (Sorry)" Ako na magaddjust. Kung saan saan kasi nakatingin. Harang sa daan, di tumabi. Didn't really bring a lot of stuff, had only my carry on language with me sa integration lang talaga ako nagtagal. 10 years wala parin bang pagbabago. This place didn't. But I sure did.

"You sure, pwede naman kita ipapick up sa driver ko" Alex said across the phone. Miss na ako kagad alam na alam departure ko, sinamahan nya nalang sana ako. Well dapat, but he had stuff to settle susunod naman daw sya so you'll be alright Alice. You survived 5 years in Paris searching for yourself alone. This place ain't a biggy. "I'll be alright, Lex. Don't worry about me. I'll just grab sa cab." He had to repeat it more than once that he would fetch a driver for me, but I had to beat it to him. He really takes good care of me, couldn't ask for more.

"Alice" a random stranger called whilst I was on a phone call I looked for who called but looks like I've just mistaken. "Anyways Alex, you continue your work there, gonna head out now. Thank care~"  A lot has changed including myself. All the voices in my heart, your lingering voice echoes again and again.

"I'm Sorry, I didn't want to lose you too"

Sacrifice. I've realized, kasi ang hirap yung wasak kana nga tapos wasak din yung aayusin mo. Paano mo aayusin yung sarili mo? Parehas wasak sa nakaraan, I guess if we met under a difference circumstance I'd call it fate, rather than a mistake. My sweetest mistake.

"We are really blessed to have this opportunity to sit with the wonderful Alice Park" Greeted the interviewer for blog that will feature my exhibit a few weeks from now. Talked about the typical questions to help promote the exhibit and give an exclusive detail about it.

"I have another question though, and it's a bit personal... Is it okay with you?" I nodded "You started painting later in your life, you were working in business under your family's company, what made you take this path?" Pain. Pain made me take this path. Lost and grief.