The Actress and the Athlete: A JJ Watt Story [ON HOLD]

Chapter Five

London, England

"Nicole, it's me; JJ. I know you're in London right now and you're probably busy. I just wanted to say, again, that I am so sorry for what happened. I never meant to hurt you or make you think that I didn't want you in that kind of way, because I do! I just... God I don't know how to explain it! I jus... {Sigh} Look, just give me a call when you can. Please. Bye."

I delete yet another voicemail from JJ. It's been almost a week since I embarrassed myself at the studio. He continued to call and send "I'm sorry" messages but I still wouldn't talk to him. I didn't want to; I was angry! Angry at him for making me believe that he wanted to be with me. Angry at myself for actually falling for it. The entire plane ride to London, I turned my phone off and just slept. I didn't feel like doing anything else.

The day before the premiere I went to lunch with three people I had become extremely close with since my very first film; Kit Harington, Emilia Clarke, and Natalie Dormer. Kit introduced Emilia and Natalie to me the second day of filming and we instantly became close. So close that we each got a small dove tattooed on our feet. I had already told them about what happened between me and JJ, so once I met up with them, I knew the questions would start flying.

"So you still haven't spoken to him?" Emilia asks me.

"Nope." I reply. "He made it very clear he doesn't want me. So why should I bother?"

"Right on girl!" Natalie cheers. "Let the bastard think about what he's missing out on."

"Nat." Emilia says through her teeth.

"What?!? Ems, Nicole is a beautiful girl! If some dumb bloke doesn't appreciate that and just wants to play with her emotions, then to hell with him!"

Emilia toss a roll at her. Natalie laughs and blows a kiss at her. "Just saying."

"Now wait." Kit interrupts. "As the only one here with a penis and the mind of a man, can I just throw my opinion out there?"

Us three girls silently look at each other then look back at Kit. "Sure, why not?" I say.

Kit runs his fingers through his hair then folds his hands over his chest. "Is it possible that maybe, JUST maybe, the reason he stopped you was because he didn't want you to regret it?"

I flash him a confused look. "What the hell are you talking about, Kit?"

"I'm talking," he continues, "About maybe... he did what he did, not because he wanted to, but because he didn't want you to regret it later on."

"Kit, I was on top of him! I was taking my clothes off! I mean shit, what would make him think I was gonna regret having sex with him?!?"

"Well, answer me this and be honest." He adds. "Deep down, were you 100% ready to actually take that next step with him? Or were you just in the heat of the moment?"

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. As much as I hated it, he was right. I was nowhere near ready to have sex with JJ, but in the heat of the moment, it felt like I was. But it still didn't change what happened. "Damnit Harington. You suck, you know that?"

"My point exactly." Kit smiles smugly. "He knew you wanted to take things slow, you let your emotions get the best of you and he didn't want you to regret it later on."

Emilia looks at me, silently agreeing with Kit. "Maybe...you should try to call him."

"I didn't do anything wrong, Em!"

"I know that darling," Emilia sympathizes. "But I kinda agree with Kit. Yes, JJ should have gone about it a completely different way, but his reason behind it wasn't in malice." I look over at Natalie and she shrugs her shoulder.