The Adventures of Number Five

Chapter 5

Lonely didn't begin to describe me.

I was fucking depressed.

And I didn't fucking care.

Pulling another beer out of the fridge I slammed it shut.

I was going through the five stages of grieve according to Jasper.

I just thought I was fucking depressed.

Taking a swig out of my beer I walked through the house.

It was too fucking big for one guy and I was only realising that now since I knew my child wouldn't grow up here. Fed up I threw the bottle against the wall where it cracked and sent shards of glass everywhere and anywhere.

I couldn't do this anymore.

I walked into the bathroom and looked at my face.

No wonder she left you.

How could you be a father? You're pathetic.

Hardly even a man.

"Shut up." I said scrunching my eyes trying to shut up my inner monologue. This wasn't Percy or even Snaky. This was the fucking Devil or something.

Keep telling me to shut up, that's smart. Not as smart as Bella though leaving your sorry ass.

"Stop" I roared bunching my hands in my hair. But it wouldn't over and over again her hurt expression played in my head while the voice swirled in my head never relenting or stopping.

"Just leave me alone." I whimpered but the voice wouldn't stop.

There's only one way to stop it.

And I knew what that was.

I walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen.

Pulling out the drawer it rattled loudly before I pulled out a knife. I held it up and watched it gleam against the bitter sun that came in the window.

"Hello friend." I whispered testing it's sharpness on the tip of my finger. There was only one place I could do this.

I walked out of my house the knife strapped to my thigh and paced towards where it all began. The lease had yet to be taken up so I was able to just walk up the stairs. I unlocked the door and walked into her bedroom. It was empty except for that damn bed.

I looked at the knife and then at my wrist. My phone rang so I threw it at the wall.

It smashed before the pieces of plastic hit the floor. I sat on the bed and thought back to all those times I had been hear how happy I had been. With her and our baby. Together.

Gently testing the waters I slowly dragged the knife across my wrist making a small cut but nothing big. The thrill was intoxicating. I tried the other making it deeper.

I repeated this action over and over differing on each arm until I was feeling light headed. I decided to take a nap and lay down on the bed.

"Edward!" I heard a yell but I didn't move. I looked up at the ceiling.

"Edward!" Another voice yelled before barging into the room. But I didn't move. "Alice in here!" The voice said.

"Jasper is he alright?" she asked before coming in. "Is that...?"

"Fuck." Jasper said reaching for my arm. I pulled it away from him not wanting him to touch them. "Edward give me your God Damn arm." He said pulling it and Alice screamed.

"Edward why?" she asked coming towards me.

I still didn't say anything. Why was I still conscience? I mustn't of cut low enough.