Us Aganist Ourselves

Chapter 6

There is cursing in this chapter, as there is in every chapter, there is also some reference to God, I don't mean to offend, but condering the situation you can understand.

5 years, 1 month ago....

I tried as much as I could to stay strong, I told my father and Malachi everything that happened, both had mixed emotions and I took responsibility for my part in this wreck.

William and I decided to travel for a while so we headed to Europe and tried to cope with how things ended up in Phoniex. We went a different place every other week or so and we started singing and writing music together as a way to cope.

We agreed that after a while we'd go our own ways and try and stay in contact, seeing as we always seemed to be fighting and bickering about something. Our tolerance of each had grown, yes, but at the same time we still were getting on the others nerves.

However, in the weeks and months that followed, I kept getting sick. Throwing up constantly, I thought I was sick and that the stress was getting to me... that is, until I realized I hadn't gotten my period for over 4 months.

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I had mixed emotions as I paced back and forth in our flat. William was out shopping and I had the flat to myself. I keep looking at the calender, trying to put together when was the last time I had my period.

"Fuck." I curse softly as I run my hand through my hair for the hundredth time. The last time was before this whole ordeal, before my last night with Liam. How could I not have realized? I needed some confirmation... maybe it was just stress... it has to be stress. I pick up my wallet and run down the stairs and to the corner store.

I buy at least 10 tests and a liter of water and gatorade and start chugging it as I make my way back to the flat. I immediately start ripping open boxes and reading the intrustions just in case before I proceed to take all of the tests.

I set an alarm on my phone for five minutes and start pacing again.

That had to be the longest 5 minutes of my life. As soon as the alarm went off, fear gripped my heart and I closed my eyes. I open my eyes and walk into the bathroom. Every last one of the tests had a pink plus, a double line or the obvious positive on it. Finally, after four months, the dam broke. Tears make their way down my face, I slide down the wall and my face tucked into my knees and hands on my stomach.

What the hell am I going to do? I can't tell Liam, he'd probably assume it's Will's and yell at me. How could I be so stupid? How could I not notice something like this?

A sob bubbles up in my throat. I'm so lost in my head I don't hear the door open, nor do I hear my name being called or the footsteps walking towards me. I don't realize I'm not alone until I feel arms wrap around me and pull me into a lap.

"We'll figure some out Sel, we will, everything will be okay." Will tries to sooth me but fails.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I cry softly and bury my face in his shoulder.

"Why are you sorry?" He asks, pushing my hair from my face.

"I shouldn't have let things get so bad with Liam and Grey... I should have done.. something, anything would have worked. I'm an idiot... I'm so fucking stupid," I pull away and roughly wipe my face.

"You're not stupid Sel, it was a twisted set of coinsedents that led to this. You are going to be a mother, you should be happy." He tries to reason with me optomistically.

"How can I be happy when my child won't know their father? How can I be happy knowing that the child that was produced from love will be looked at with disgust because their father is a dumbass who can't listen?" I ask angrily.