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chapter nine ; never ending memory
Camila licked her lips and ripped out another piece of paper, grabbing her pen and opening the cap to throw it away somewhere in her room. How had it already been seven months since they broke up? She wiped the tears off of her face with her shirt and pulled a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
Dear Shawn,
I can't believe it's been seven months since you left. I still count the days. I miss you so much, if you didn't know already. I might not be sending you these letters, but I just wanted you to know that i miss you. Sometimes you let go of the people you love, right? But did you even love me at all? Were those fake kisses worth anything to you?
The nights I stayed up talking to you because you wanted me to. When I held you closer than anyone else when I cried. Why did I get attached so quickly?
I gave all of me.
Love, Camila x
She folded the piece of paper in half and put it in the box, biting and chewing on her bottom lip, trying to hold back tears that were in her eyes. Why did he have to leave? Why didn't he tell her?
He kissed her forehead, tears building up as he cupped the back of her head and wrapped his arm around her neck. Camila had no idea what was going on, at all. She just stood there, unaware of what he was doing. From the sudden action, she pulled him close and threw her arms around his waist.
"I love you," he whispered into her hair as the wetness came on her hair. Tears. He was leaving. "I know you will hate me for this."
"I-I love you too.." Camila replied, her eyebrows pinched. Why was he saying this? "What's going on, Shawn? What are you doing?"
He pulled away, and gave her another long kiss on the forehead. He sniffled, and grabbed his backpack from the floor. "I'm leaving, Mila. I don't belong here."
A gush of wind rushed past her, but the window wasn't even opened. Her heart thumped against her chest, a slight shaking of her hands making a way to his eyes. He saw how she was so scared. God, he hated that. "Yes, you do. You belong with me, Shawn. Why? You can't just .." Camila raised her head up, and looked into his eyes. They were dull, and bloodshot red. He was crying—because of her. He never knew someone could make him feel this pain, this feeling. Euphoria feeling, the way he felt like he was in paradise. But he didn't want that. Knowing that he will most definitely hurt her in some way to break her heart—Shawn didn't want that for her. He knew what's best. "We've been together for so many ... You can't leave!"
"Baby, I'm so sorry—"
"Don't baby me. You are .. so disgusting. Why can't you stay! Stay! Please, stay. Give me one reason why you're leaving." Camila swallowed, the pain causing her heart to smash into pieces and break away what was left of her. "Are you embarrassed of me? Just say it, Shawn! Do you not love me?"
He did. He loved her so much.
"I do love you! I still love you! i'm, I'm just .. not feeling well right now." Shawn sighed, taking ahold of her hands and tightening his grip. "You, are such an amazing girl. And I am not worthy enough for you."
She shook her head, and pulled away from him. Her hands found their way to reach his face, touching him so softly that he was afraid he'd melt. "Don't do this, please don't do this." She cupped his cheeks, gliding her hands down his face. His jaw clenched, and he tried fighting the urge to not kiss her. "You love me. Say you love me."
She pulled in closer, until he cut her off.
"I can't, I can never say that again."
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You Are Not Mine
Fanfiction[SPIN-OFF TO LETTERS TO CAMILA] "you are the crack of sunshine that I can't see, the waves to the raging sea, but I still can't get to you. no matter how hard I try, it doesn't work that way. I wish I could touch you again. but you're gone, and you...
