Wrong Note

23.

Allison -

There was just emptyness, nothing to laugh at, nothing to depend on nothing to have fun with. There was no reason on continuing to have fun during Christmas break. School about to start again in just two more days and I'm sitting here. At my best friend funeral. Not one tear slipping down my face. Not one smile. not one blink. Just staring out into space is what people may say. But I'm just staring at the black casket that was in front of the room. I was hoping for my best friend to jump up and be like it was all a joke I'm alive. But the hour went by and it didn't happen.

After the service everyone got up and walked over to the casket and other pray or cry. I just stood put. The only one sitting back here away from all of that. Away from her casket and I know people would say what type of friend is that. I'm just a friend that doesn't want to cry while seeing her in there, the one that doesn't want to grave every single day.

A hand on my shoulder made me look up as I seen Ethan in a black suit. He gave me a weak smile but I didn't return it. I just looked back at the people in front of me.

After about 15 more minute there was no one in the room where her casket was. Just me, Ethan,Grayson, Emma, angel, Colin and brook, and my brother Justin. I finally got up and walked over to her. I was scared to even look at her but I had to. Once I reached her my tears came running down. I sob quietly as I see her body laying there. She was in this white dress with her hair in a nice bun and her makeup the way she always does it.

I haven't realized I fell to the floor until I felt someone hugging me. I look up from my hands and seen Ethan. He looked down at me as I grabbed his shirt and buried my head to his chest as I cry and cry. I can hear Emma crying and brook.

"Come on you need fresh air" I heard Ethan says as he helped me up from the floor as we all walked out the room as her family walked in. Her dad crying non stop as he ran to his daughter casket and his wife after him. As the little one just sits by the door frowning that his older step sister isn't here anymore.

Once we reached outside I took this deep breath that I thought I was going to dye if I don't.

"Breath" Ethan would say every second, every time I couldn't breath.

"She's gone" I said after a while of sitting at the church stairs. It was just me and him out here as everyone else left back inside. I played with my hands as I looked out to the snowy roads.

"Yea but she'll always be there " he says and I look at him. He was just steps away from me. Me and him aren't actually dating but we do share moments like couples.

I could hear sia voice if she was here and see how me and him are.

"Where?" I asked letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. " she not here here "I said running a hand through my hair as he got up and sat next to me.

" no but she's always here" he says putting his hand over my heart " and She'll always be watching " he adds as I look at him. He smiled and place his hand under my chin as he brought his lips to mines. I felt the usual butterflies in my stomach as I smiled into the kiss. I pulled away and grabbed his hand.

"She'll total always be the best friend I and Emma ever had " I said and he nods rubbing his thumb against mine.

"She sure will"

________

We are already back to school and I felt weird as I got out of bed. I sigh as I just sat there watching the time go by. 6:00, 6:15, 6:30, 6:50...

There was a knock at my door and then it opens as Emma walks in all ready for school. She sat next to me as we both stared out into space. She sniffed and grabbed my hand.

"We gotta go " she says as I got up and started getting ready.

7:30

We made it to school and the sky was so gray like it was going to rain, but I can Care less. As me Emma walked to the school we get stares from the students around. Emma quickly walks into the school with me and takes me to my first period class. The teacher looks up when Emma open the door and he smiles but it soon faded.

"Is everything okay?" He asked as I sat at my desk and I nodded.

"I'll see you at lunch" Emma says and walks away. The teacher looks at Me and makes his way towards me.

"Hey I heard what happen to sia and I'm sorry for your lost" he says rubbing my back  but all I could so was nod. What do you say to stuff like that? I can't say its okay because they'll keep going. A thank you? I don't know. " if anything I'm here to talk also just like the rest of the teachers " he said and I nodded.

The late bell has ringed and the class started to fill up. I seen Ethan and I smiled as he made his way to me. He sat in front of me and looked back at me.

"How you feeling?" He asked and I shrugged.

"There " is all I said and he nods. I haven't spoken to him since the day we burry sia casket. I feel so bad for even ignoring him.

"Don't beat yourself up for not texting me I know how it feels to lose a friend so I get you need space" he says and I smiled. He's to good of a guy.

Why me? Is all that I keep asking myself