As i looked at your note i keep holding my breath and shaking my head because i heard your cry and i understood it on a level i would never admit. I remember those nights the ones you wrote about.. And now i feel hopeless because I'm finally in an okay place. Why now? Why can you come here with -with your feelings and your tears and -where were you when i felt like this?! When i needed to know someone else felt like this?! No one understood! No one! not when i was sad, they didn't even recognize or acknowledge it. I'm looking at all these people and you know what i see? i see confusion and I'm so angry because its so plainly clear whats going on and i just - I'm wiping a tear away and I'm walking away. Im okay now and i cant help you because my version of okay is waking up in the middle of the night with scars and searching the bed for someone who isn't there, who was never really there. So I'm sorry but i cant help you .. I cant ever help you, not with my version of okay.
-M.M
YOU ARE READING
Silent as my screams
PoetryThings I could never say, thoughts I have on my depression and anxiety, and descriptions of fucked up life events. Over all a clusterfuck of fuck this that and the way i feel. Not angry, well not completely anyway, mostly just bitter self-loathing...
