T.R.I.G.G.E.R

T.R.I.G.G.E.R - #7

I didn't sleep last night. My body has gotten stiff and sore from laying still on this hard bench for six hours without resting.

I hate the white room.

I literally stayed up watching the hours tick on my watch and letting my mind run crazy.

I sat up from the bench and leaned my forearms on my knees with my hands clasped together.

Then I heard the door click, and was soon being pulled open.

Behind the door was Bruce, one of the security guards I deal with often.

He stood there looking at me expectantly. When I didn't get up, he groaned in annoyance.

"Well, are you gonna get up?" He rolled his eyes and I smirked at him.

Then, taking my time, I got up and walked out of the door.

"Nice to see ya today, Bruce." I commented as I walked past him, eyeing him up and down. "Having a good day?"

"Just go to your damn psych session, six." He sighed. "Your psychiatrist is waiting for you."

"Shortening my number won't make me like you, Bruce." I teased and went to Kinsey's office.

Once again, she was waiting for me in the hall.

"Oh, Kinsey. Do you ever get tired of your job?" I smiled sweetly at her and strode casually into her office and sat down.

"Don't give me that pleasant talk, six." She grumbled and sat down in front of me. "You know you shouldn't have done what you did."

"And what exactly, did I do this time?" I grinned, knowing exactly what she was referring to. "I've been a perfect little angel since our last meeting, kins'. I even stopped myself from yelling at that old ass nurse when she touched a tender spot on my hand. That's an accomplishment."

She sighed. "Hardly."

I chuckled.

"You beat that girl half to death and you shouldn't have done that, Jackie." She scolded. "Every time I even consider that you're starting to get better, you go and mess it up. It's time to put an end to that."

I sighed dramatically, but didn't say anything to her.

"Jackie..." Kinsey's voice got quieter, almost sad. "I want to believe you're doing okay, but I just...it's hard when you don't give me much positive to consider.-"

"So stop considering." I shrugged.

"Will you let me finish?" She growled.

I just shrugged.

"To put it simply,...it seems you're losing a lot of what makes a human being, just that." She paused. "You've stopped feeling and keep yourself from remembering things. You don't care about most of anything, including yourself. You beat people 'til they're laying in their own blood, and have no remorse for it. The things that you imagine are outrageous. Jackie, I- I hate to say it but, you're becoming a bit of a-"

"A what? A monster?" I already knew what she was going to say before she said it. And it ticked me off. "You don't have to say it, Kinsey. I've heard it before. All my life actually."

"Jackie-"

"Not one single day of my childhood did I spend without someone saying that I would grow up to be a monster, or a screw up, or even sometimes I was called a fucking maniac.

"Before I even figured out what they meant, everyone classed me as a gotdamned disappointment because of the way my parents were. So, no Kinsey. I don't need you to tell me the same fucking thing that I've been hearing all my life.