T.R.I.G.G.E.R

T.R.I.G.G.E.R - #15

I cried.

For the first time in eleven years, I cried.

After I left Laila in the hallway yesterday, layed in my bed and cried for the whole night.

I haven't had a wink of sleep, and I feel like someone just hit me on the head with a metal bat.

It's been a long time since I've felt so...vulnerable.

The last time was right after Evelyn died. I was depressed for eight months.

Then when my parents decided to leave Russia for a 'fresh start', it made me hopeful again.

I hoped that coming here meant that I would be free from the grief that Evelyn left for everyone. I was wrong.

My parents were still grieving her death. The only thing was, they took it out on me.

They started with the yelling and calling me names.

They yelled at me for any little thing that they could, and sometimes it didn't even make sense.

The yelling escalated, and they started hitting me. It wasn't anything serious at first. Just a slap or two a day.

I guess they got carried away somewhere down the line and figured, the more bruised up I was, the better.

Then I stopped feeling.

I didn't cry when my father would kick me in the stomach. Or when my mother would put her cigarette out on my arm.

I couldn't find the will to cry and let everything I was feeling flow from my eyes.

Until eight months into living in San Francisco, and I met the only person who could make me feel something other than numbness.

Tucker...

"Jackie!" I was startled by the sound of Emma's voice on the other side of my door, and dropped my hairbrush.

I went to the door and opened it, revealing a super excited Emma.

"Uh, yes?"

Emma smiled bigger and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my room.

"Emma, what-"

"DADDY GOT YOU A PRESENT!" She squealed and pulled me down the stairs. "OUTSIDE! WE HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE!"

She yanked me through the front door and pulled me to the side of the house, where the garage was.

The door was open and Daniel stood on the roof of a matte black Porsche with neon green highlights.

Laila was hanging out of the passenger window laughing at him as someone, who I assume was Chase, revved the engine.

I just stood there. Staring awkwardly at them as they fooled around.

Laila glanced my way and her face lit up with a smile.

"Jackie, hey hon!"

When she said my name, Daniel looked my way and I saw Chase worm out of the driver's window.

"Uhh...-"

"Do you like it?" Daniel asked and sat down, with his legs hanging off the side of the Porsche's roof.

"Do I like what...?" I asked, confused.

Daniel rolled his eyes and at the same time Chase said, "The car, genius!"

What...

I shrugged, not knowing why they were asking me if I like the car. Who wouldn't? "Uhh, it's nice...?"