My guardian angel (ON HOLD FOR A WHILE)

Chapter 8 (Today is the day)

I woke up in liam his apartement. I guess we all passed out here yesterday because Louis is on the floor with Niall on top of him. Zayn is beside me and i have no idea where Liam is. I went to the bathroom where i found Liam next to the toilet, i can already guess what happend last night. I looked at my watch to see that it was 2pm, so 2 more hours till Rose her sugery.. I went back to the living room where louis was groaning on the ground pushing Niall off of him. "I'm going, Rose her sugery is in 2 hours, say bye to the rest from me." I waved at Louis and Niall and walked out the door. I immediately drove to the hospital. I parked my car and went inside the big building. When i came closer i saw a lot of people standing in the front.. Stupid paps again! Why can't they fucking leave me alone! 

"Harry" "Is she still alive?" "This is all you're fault isn't it?" "Harry?" "Is she dying?" "Killer"

"What did you say? Killer? YOU KNOW NOTHING FUCKING NOTHING!" I screamed and pushed myself through the crowd. I made my way to the desk where i found Nikkie.

"They're dickheads right?"

"Yeah they are.. And where have you been? I've been worried!"

"I had a day off, no need to worry!"

"Oh okay, Rose is getting surgery today so i'm gonna go upstairs."

"Goodluck!"

I winked at her and went upstairs. The doctor was already inside. "We'll start the surgery in 15 minutes, we gonna start a bit earlier, i'll be back in a few minutes." He smiled and walked out of the room. I let out a big sigh before i sat myself down next to Rose. "Today is the day babe, in 10 minutes actually. It's been almost 2 weeks now and that's already to long. I'm glad the surgery is finally here, i hope it works. I hope you wake up, i'll be waiting right here, next to you untill you open your eyes. The doctor is back and ready to take with him. Goodluck baby, see you tonight." The doctor smiled at me and i knew it was time to leave. I kissed her forehead once again and went back home.

*

The only thing i could do was thinking. For already 2 hours now. Would she be awake already? Are they finished yet? I couldn't wait anymore, i decided to just go back and see it from there on. I don't care if i need to wait, i just want to be there when she wakes up, to tell her how sorry i am. I drove to the hospital and went inside. I bumped into Nikkie who dropped some papers. "I'm sorry" and i picked up all the papers. "Why are you already here?" She asked. "I couldn't sit at home, i was going insane!" I let out a big sigh. "Come on, let's grab a coffee." Nikkie smiled polite and i followed her to the cafeteria. I sat myself down in one of the comfortable couches while Nikkie orded the coffee. After a few minutes she came back to me and handed me a coffee. I took a big sip and let out another big sigh. Nikkie look concerned at me before she starts speaking. 

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I know what i'm fine means Harry.. Don't lie to yourself.. You need help."

"No, i can do this on my own, if she wakes up everything will be fine again."

"No, you can't! You have a trauma.. And that's normal because of what happend. I know how it is Harry.."

"What do you mean?"

"The day i wasn't here, was a very emotional day for me. I don't like to talk about it so when you asked me where i was i just told you i had a day off. I actually went to my dad, my dads grave, because it was 7 years ago that he died. When i was 13, i was in a car accident with my dad and he died right next to me. I searched for help too, and it really helped me because without it, i wouldn't be talking to you right now because he was my best friend. I still had my mom, we still had each other but it wasn't the same without him. I still miss him though, but please listen to me and go see a psychiatrist."

 "I'm sorry for you.. I'm gonna go to Rosy her room."

I put up a little fake smile ad walked away. A psychiatrist? Is she nuts? I can handle this, i've been through a lot, so i can handle this too. I walked up to Rose her room thinking about what Nikkie said. I still think she's kinda crazy, but the story about her dad really touched me.. I arrived at Rose her room and opened the door. Rose wasn't there so the operation wasn't finished yet. I sat myself down in a chair, feeling tired of everything. All the stuff that came to me the last week was getting to much. I felt my eyes get heavy and drifted off in a deep sleep.

* 

When i opened my eyes the first person i saw was the doctor. I rubbed my eyes and looked around to see Rose lying in the bed in front of me. "Goodmorning." The doctor said with a fake smile. "I'm sorry i fell asleep while i was waiting.." I replied. "That's okay, I-.." I cut him off and asked him how the operation went. His face turned pale.

"She should've been awake by now but she isn't.. We don't know.. I'm sorry."

"W-What.. Do you mean?"

"We need to wait, we don't even know if she's gonna make it. I'm sorry.." 

My world crashed down when he said the last words. What if she isn't gonna make it? It's my fault, if she don't wake up then i.. I killed her. Maybe Nikkie was right, maybe i do need some help.. Maybe i can't do this on my own.