Lilac

For Your Brother's Sake

I'm not using Adrian's name because someone will freak out so nope

Also kinda trigger but not as much as last time because I love you (probably)
***

The rest of the night was uneventful. Dan didn't really care for homework, and his teachers didn't really either. But, he needed something to distract him, and make the tight wrap around his bicep feel a little less uncomfortable. He plopped onto the bed, opened his bag and scrimmaged through for a bit, pulling out papers and folders he didn't really know he had.

He found a one or so inch look called The Old Man and The Sea, but tosses it on his nightstand, along with other books and papers. He thought his backpack was just a back hole of school supplies and pages for a while, until he reached the end.

Dan looked around at his surroundings to find a sea of schoolwork that he wasn't really interested at all in.

He covered his eyes with his hands and groaned, leaning back to lay down on the bed.

Can I just die already. Was his last thought before he passed out into a dreamless sleep.

Dan was lucky he was wearing a long sleeve, since he awoke to his brother sitting on his bed, shaking him and whispering his name.

He always felt a bit different around his brother. Maybe less, depressed. He didn't have such a dark mind when he was around people- no. That wasn't it, he tried to hide those thoughts when he was in public. It was just a mask he wore, it didn't mean anything.

"Dan, you look dead." Dan's brother  flatly stated once he saw his brother's eyes flutter open. He held out a Starburst and a cup of orange justice for his older brother, which Dan rolled his eyes and ate and drink with dread. "Mom made dinner downstairs... If you wanna come eat with us, I see you're very busy with," he looked around, "homework".

"Oh, um," Dan really didn't want to eat. He really didn't want to eat. He knew he was just gonna bring it back up again, but he also had a pounding headache and an indescribable feeling from his limbs that literally made him want to amputate them. "Yeah I guess I'll be down in five, let me pee first." He lied, sitting up to be next to his brother.

Dan didn't notice it, but his younger brother took a quick glance at Dan's arms to make sure he was okay.

He wasn't an idiot, he knew Dan was depressed. Anyone with half a brain could figure that out. He knew Dan occasionally skipped or puked out a meal. He was almost certain Dan was physically harming himself as well, but he couldn't tell for sure because of the amount of black long sleeves his brother wore. All he saw were vaguely lighter lines on Dan's wrist every so often, but that wasn't enough.

He desperately wanted to help Dan. But, Dan didn't want help. None. Not that he cared, but he needed physical evidence to actually get his brother help, not just the things he hears when he's walking down the hall or the things he thinks he sees.

The only reason he didn't tell Dan anything was because he knew his brother would only build more walls up and defend himself against all the speculation. So with that, he gave Dan a quick nod and shuffled through the papers, sighing softly as he closed the door behind him.

Dan groaned getting out of bed, and slugged to the bathroom, that was conveniently just on the opposite side of his closet.

He walked in, closed the door, and was immediately taken by how normal it smelled. He never really harmed in this bathroom, for some reason- even though he kept spare razors in there. So this bathroom didn't smell like harsh chemicals and cleanness, but more like a normal bathroom.