Lilac

Coffee II

To think about the day before as he sat in front of Phil drinking a Coconut Matcha Latte while the December sun peaked through the clouds and sent beams down though the window, was almost embarrassing to Dan.

Not even almost- it was more embarrassing than anything he'd ever done. Just remembering sitting on the cold tile crying- it seemed like something out of a dream, it didn't seem real.

Yet he knows that's what happened- he knows the life before this perfect sunshiney moment.

Dan pushes away the memory, and focuses on the things around him.

He and Phil had already read the novel at home. Dan read it years ago when it came out- and Phil read it the night after he went to Hudson's with Dan- so they both switched off reading every chapter of the rest of the to take notes of the story the the other is telling.

"I think you made the right choice choosing a book," Phil sparks to Dan.

"I mean it's a typical Green book, I would say that it's pretty average when it comes to his works." Dan takes a sip of his drink.

"You've read his other stuff?" The raven asks, intrigued.

"He's only our generations best author."

"Questionable, " Phil laughs. "And the Labyrinth," He starts again, "What do you think it's about?"

Dan leans back in his chair, thinking about the question properly. "I don't think there is a specific meaning. Alaska sees it as suffering, but I don't necessary think so. I think it was because she was suffering was why she saw it as that. I think that each characters definition of it tells us who they were. Since the book is about Alaska, I may agree that it is, indeed, about suffering. But maybe also hopelessness. Why, what do you think?"

"I think it's about the limitless un-answerable questions there are in life, and she is the labyrinth herself. The way she traps herself into the endless torpedo of questions that force her deeper into suffering and she and she can't get free from herself."

"Interesting theory, you're smarter than you look, Lester," Dan replies.

"'I may die young, but at least I'll die smart.'"

Phil instantly liked Dan more than Hudson. Hudson was just more of a party goer, or someone you meet through mutual friends. He's someone you go to when you want to feel happy.

Dan was someone you created memories and inside jokes with. Someone you walk with on the way to class. He was smart, you could have a conversation with him that you could engage in. For Phil, he's someone you'd go to when you want to be happy.

***

They got tons of weird looks from the customers around them.

There was a girl in her early twenties who was typing furiously on her MacPro, and an old man scrolling through news articles on his phone.

Nobody was together, but there was the sound of a million peoples conversations drowning out the two boys'.

Phil hated his coffee- and he wouldn't say anything. Which, bothered Dan, because every time Phil reached for the cup he would look down at what he was about to drink and hesitate somewhat.

Dan thought about gathering up the courage to ask to buy him another cup, but couldn't come up with anything that didn't make him sound weird.

It was only the second time the two had spent time together- the first really, because Dan didn't really count the short time at Hudson's house.

They'd been in the coffee shop for hours, talking about homework, their childhood, media, any thought their mind wandered to was expressed.

The whole think reminded Dan of white with a navy blue undertone. He felt safe, and he felt happy. Which were two things he focused on cherishing.

He focused more on trying to cherish the moment, then actually living it. He thought of it as a game, to remember every detail, and to remember every emotion in the few hours the two boys had been together.

***

There is a feeling in this world that only one person can make you feel.

Your soul feels cleansed, and you have no evil in your heart. Your stomach hurts because you've been laughing so much, and your face gets a little sore from smiling. You beg for their constant attention,  and do anything to get it. It's that little boost of confidence you get when you talk to them because they make you feel good.

They don't make you feel warm and fuzzy:

they make you feel light, airy, and cool. You are a relaxed kind of happy. Where you're walking on clouds, and theres a summer breeze rushing through your veins. Carefree, with a bundle of joy mixed in.

This is Dan's favorite emotion.

This is what Dan was feeling now- he called it lilac.

It's sundown, and they've been at the coffee shop for hours. Their bill came to fifty four dollars, and they were running on so much caffeine their bloodstream was mostly composed of it.

*

"Let me show you something." Phil says, looking Dan straight in the eyes.

"I'm in your hands." He smiled reassuringly.

Phil stood up and took he and Dan's school bags, then offered his hand to the brunette with honey eyes.

Dan took it, hesitantly at first, but he had no time to think- as Phil was dragging him out of the cafe, and into the street by his wrist.

They ran in the corners of the outter city in the night with towers above them and the dirty, grimy sidewalk at their feet.  Dan giggles and Phil giggles back- as if it's their own little language.

their own little language of happiness.

*

"We're here," Phil breaths in ecstatically and out of breath.

"It-" Dan is awestruck by everything around in his sight.

Golden lights litter the ground as if the earth had replaced the night sky. They're above him, below him, and right across the street from where he stood on the top of the parking structure. It all made it seem like they were enclosing onto him, shedding the spotlight of darkness onto this moment in time.

"Beautiful, I know," Phil continues, "I like coming up here and doing nothing."

"Sounds like a lovely time," Dan says, distracted.

"It's even better when I have someone with me." Phil goes on, rolling his sleeves up. He gets onto the ledge and sits with his feet dangling off.

"Someone?" Dan repeats, hopping onto the ledge himself.

There is no light where the two of them were sitting so that you could see another person in front of you- but Dan felt it in his mind, body and soul, that Phil looked him straight in the eye when he said, "You."

*

yes, i changed the book they were reading- sue me.