"Adam where are you?!" someone called, "here" I said weakly. The rain wasn't relenting and I was already soaked, Dr Oliver and one of the nurses came running over to me with umbrellas and raincoats. "Are you ok?" the nurse asked as they grabbed me under my arms and hauled me from the floor and led me back inside, I was taken into Dr Olivers office as a blanket was put round me. "We need to get you out of these wet clothes" he instructed as I shook my head. "Adam you'll get a cold" he said sternly as I lifted my top over my head. "What did you do!" he cried looking down at my arms, "he told me to do it" I said struggling to stay awake.
"How deep did you go" he asked pressing a towel to the still bleeding cuts. "I don't know" I answered, "ok we need to get you to a hospital now" he said as I nodded. Everything was starting to get a little hazy by now, I was getting light headed like I was going to pass out. I was vaguely aware that I was being walked to a car and helped inside, The car sped forward as I heard Dr Oliver in my ear. "Adam you have to stay awake tell me about your day" he said, "I read" I replied quietly, "very good what was it about?" he asked. "Caterpillars" I said as sleep beckoned, "adam. Adam" he said as my eyes got heavy as I fell back against the chair.
I blinked in the bright light as I swallowed, my gaze fell to my arm. It was bandaged tightly, the other had a drip in. Machines beeped around me as I ran my hand over my face and sat up, "ahh adam youre awake good" Dr Oliver said as he entered the room. "Mm" I muttered incoherently, "you know you shouldn't have stopped taking your medication" he answered handing me a glass of water. "It was making it worse" I commented putting the glass on the side, "just stopping taking it will make you ill adam" he answered."Im already ill aren't I might as well add that to the list aswell seeing as my life is entirely screwed!" I shouted angrily.
"Adam calm down" he said, "no I wont stop telling me what to do! You don't know what its like, you've never had to deal with this! I wish I had never met tommy everything was fine before I met him. I should have cut deeper! Id rather be dead then have to deal with this crap! I had everything I wanted, a job I loved, doing something I had always wanted to do! I could go anywhere do anything but now im stuck in a dull room. Medication constantly being put into my body im trapped I hate it. You don't understand just leave me alone just go away. Leave me alone" I said hysterically.
"I know it seems that way now but hurting yourself and not taking your tablets isn't going make it better. As for tommy its my understanding that you loved him very much, loosing someone you love is always going to be hard. But this isn't the answer adam, this is never the answer. You were doing well before this, I don't know what happened" he said. "It felt good though feeling something instead of just numbness. He happened, Sauli. The person who killed my boyfriend will you make me better. I want to go home and get back to my life" I said.
He smiled "sure we will. We'll get rid of Sauli and once your better you can go back to normal. But its not a quick fix" he told me. I knew this already as I nodded, "you should get some sleep" he answered. "Ok" I replied settling under the blanket as I yawned and let myself sleep.
