I opened my eyes slowly and blinked in the bright light, I was in a room. It was so clean and white, "adam" A voice said as I turned towards it. A pretty blonde with brown eyes and dressed in white walked towards me. he looked happy he was smiling. "Tommy?" I said slightly confused, "hi" he said quietly. "Am I dead?" I asked longing to touch him. He smiled "Youre not dead adam, Ive been watching you. You are struggling so much, your friends are trying to help you. So is your mom, you should let them" he said stepping towards me. I could feel his warmth, his feather like touch on my hand as he held it.
"I miss you tommy, you were the only man I loved. How can I let them help me when I don't know how to help myself?" I questioned. "What happened was just something that needed to, your friends are there for you adam" he told me. "I read your letter, I know what you did" I replied. "The letter was the ramblings of a desperate man. You have to understand why I did it" he said. "I will never understand why you did that but yet I still love you" I said.
"You know love works in funny ways, I might not be there anymore but other people are. Your family, friends and any new guy who comes along" he answered. "I don't want a new guy, if I die now I can be with you. Id rather that than have to be without you" I answered. He smiled "I didn't want anyone else either, adam you know i'll always love you but you cant die. You have to wake up and go back to everyone. When your time comes i'll be waiting and we can be together again" he told me. "Don't leave me tommy" I said as he moved away, "I'll never leave you. Remember im always watching you, I love you" he said his voice echoing as I called his name.
"Adam, adam wake up" came a voice that seemed muffled like being underwater. I slowly opened my eyes the smell of disinfectant in my nose, there was something stuck in my throat as I struggled to clear it. "Hes waking up" someone said. "Hold on" A different voice told me as whatever was in my throat was removed. I coughed and swallowed, my throat was sore ans scratchy like sand paper. I struggled to shake off the heavy feeling surrounding me as the steady beep of machines sounded in the background.
The shadowed faces started to come in focus as I blinked and looked around.A tube was put in my nose as I looked down at my plastered arm, I slowly sat up ignoring the pain that radiated through my body. "Hey" garnet said smiling, "hi" I whispered. "Here drink this" my mom said handing me a bottle of water. I downed half the bottle and sighed quietly, "thanks" I answered putting it on the side.
"What the hell were you thinking? On your phone while driving" my mom said trying to contain her anger. "I wasn't that idiot just came out of nowhere" I retorted, "do you know how worried ive been?" she said. "Well im going to go get a cup of tea, coming garnet" esther said as she nodded and they both left. I braced myself for the lecture as I leant back against the pillow, "im sorry" I replied.
"Ive been trying to call you for weeks, you haven't answered. Then I see you all over the TV, people telling me how proud I must be of you. Kind of embarrassing when I don't even know whats going on in your life!" she cried. "You really want to know why I didn't tell you? Because you hated the idea of me moving here, you wanted me to go into a mental institute for gods sakes. That's why I didn't tell you, I rang you so many times. But it always went to answerphone, it was like you couldn't be bothered with me" I said.
"You really think that badly of me? I was busy working adam, I tried to ring you but your phone was always off" she told me. "I don't have a landline yet, my mobile was broken I only got it fixed yesterday. You could have rung my manager if you needed me, I even sent you a text with my new number while I was getting my phone fixed" I said. "I saw that I thought it was from some randomer, you didn't put your name" she told me.
I rolled my eyes and sighed, "I tried" I answered wearily. "Im sorry If I had known it was you.." she started before I interrupted her. "You dontunderstand how much ive struggled since tommy died, the sleepless nights, the bad dreams, the flashbacks and anxiety. Then everything else happened so fast, everyone knows about tommy. About how he died, yet you weren't there when I needed you most. I needed my mom and you weren't there. Garnet and esther rang you I saw their phones" I said wincing at the sharp shock of pain that moved through my body.
"Adam if I had known Id have been here you know that. The reporters had no right to be digging up the past about tommy" she said. A doctor came in to check my temperature and everything, "so whats the damage?" I asked. "Your arm is broken in 3 places, we had to put stitches in your lip where your teeth went through it. Whiplash, bruised ribs and that cut on your head. Youre lucky it could have been a lot worse, I heard you car is totalled though. You have quite a high temperature though which concerns me, hows the pain?" he asked.
"On a scale on one to 10 maybe a 9" I answered, "ok im going to give you some more pain medication. You should try to eat something" he told me. "Im not really hungry" I answered, "well I'll get the nurse to bring you something anyway. She will be here in a few minutes with a cold compress to try and get your temperature down a little. I'll go and get your medication" he answered leaving. I felt like a human pin cushion with all these wires and needles, hopefully i'll be able to go home soon. In the corner of the room I saw tommy, sitting on a chair watching me intently with those brown eyes.
