Face Down

Seven

     I was fifteen minutes early to work on Wednesday, but I got off at noon; I had to head out to the hospital to visit my mother. I rarely go to visit; her doctor tells me that while it's nice to have me to support her, but I also set back her recovery.

     After the forty minute drive I pay for parking and get a visitor's pass. While walking the halls of Azgeda, the mental institution, I stare at my feet, because if I look up at the other patients I feel guilty.

     When I get to my mother's room, I knock softly before walking in with a fake smile. "Hi mom, how are you feeling?"

     "Oh Annabelle, I'm doing okay. How are you my precious girl? Look at you!" she clapped, "you did something new to your hair; I like the color."

     I smiled at her before correcting her, "Mom, I'm Ariel- not Annabelle. I brought you some books," I set three down in front of her; when I was little I could scarcely remember a time when she wasn't reading, but I don't know if she still does- I like to think she does.

      "Oh, Ariel, it's nice to see you. Will you tell Annabelle to come visit me? You two look alike, it makes me miss her more. Have you two spoken recently? How's her new job? I'm so proud of her for becoming a doctor."

    She was worse, much worse. "Yes mom," I lied, "I talked to her on my way here, she's very busy in," I paused, thinking.

    "Boston," she tossed at me.

     "She's very busy in Boston. They promoted her yesterday, top doctor at her hospital. She told me to tell you that she misses you and that she's sorry she can't be here." My throat burned and tears threatened to spill over.

     Mom continued to stare at the wall, "wonderful, tell her I'll expect her around Christmas; me and your father bought new dinner dishes just last week."

     "Okay mom," I couldn't handle anymore, "I'm going to go find the doctor. Bye mom." I kissed her cheek and left the room with wet cheeks.

     I went to see her doctor. "Dr. Mazrak?" I knocked softly. "I'm worried about my mother."

    "Ms. Kelso, please sit, I would actually like to talk about your mother."

     "She thought I was Annabelle, and she spoke of my father."

     "Eleanor has built this alternate reality, in her head that she prefers to live in. In this reality, Annabelle never passed, and therefore she and Mr. Kelso are still married."

     "I just don't understand, she's been here for years, since before I was in the system- how long is will it take for her to get better?"

     "I've spoken to specialists all over the country and honestly, they all think that she doesn't want to live in this reality, and therefore will not wake up, for lack of a better term, from this other reality."

     I spoke to the doctor about possible treatments and experiments, but all of her answers led back to that my mother was, more than likely, never going to get out of the institution.