Calories (joshler)

Chapter two - broken

Tyler's POV:

I feel so guilty when I let Josh walk away and don't even do anything but sink further down in my chair, pushing away the half-eaten food in front of me - seeing him like this makes me lose my appetite. I just don't understand, I don't know how I can help or why he is doing this to himself. Does he not see what I see? The sickly pale skin, hollow cheeks and empty eyes, bones sticking out of his body in a way that makes it look as if they were trying to break their way out of his skin. He's weak all the time and can barely support what little weight he has left. A skeleton, an empty shell of a person I cannot help.

Sighing, I stand up, leaving the table to go and find Josh. It doesn't take long before I get to his bedroom and the open door allows me to see him laying on his bed, staring at at what appears to be the ceiling but I can tell he's just daydreaming.

"I am not going to eat anything Tyler." He says, not even bothering to look at me. Why does he seem to say something along those lines every time we speak?

"Are you hungry Josh?" I walk across the room to sit on the edge of the bed, watching as his facial expression twists into anger and hurt, as if he's having a mental argument with himself on whether or not to answer me.

"...yes." the reply is only a whisper, as if admitting some big secret or speaking forbidden words.

"If I get you some food, you can eat it, I'll make it low calorie." I feel like my tone of voice makes me come across like I'm trying to convince a child to wear their bike helmet but it's the only way I've managed to successfully get him to eat anything. Tread carefully and specify the lack of calories.

"No..." But he sounds like he has to force himself to deny my offer so I go to get the food anyway, making sure to leave the bedroom door open when I leave to go to the kitchen (it's just down the hall as we live in an apartment).

Okay, what food would he be willing to eat, we have celery and watermelon, they don't contain many calories... I think. Honestly I'm not very good at this I don't watch what I eat I just go by vegetables and fruit are good for you and don't eat so much that you get to the point where you can't stand. I wish Josh shared a similar mindset rather than me having to do this. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother... Sometimes it's like he's already dead.

After gathering the foods previously stated and putting them on a plate I walk back to Josh, seeing him in exactly the same place as last time only he sits up when I sit back down in my original place with the food being placed down in front of him.

"Tyler..." He begins but trails off, apparently not knowing what to say. Or maybe he just doesn't know how to say what we both know he was thinking, "I can't eat I'm too fat.".

"I know I can't force feed you but I really want you to eat something today, please?" I don't know why I even bother anymore, have I thought that already? I really do love him but I just can't do this forever; he needs serious help and it makes me feel increasingly guilty every day when I convince myself that he isn't that bad yet, that I can fix him myself... But I really can't and it's all just so frustrating and - wait is he crying?

"I'm sorry, it's okay, I shouldn't have tried to force you its my fault." I'm stuttering and stumbling over words trying to comfort him because this doesn't happen very often and I have no idea what to say or what to do except speak words that don't really mean anything.

But it's as if it suddenly dawned on me how broken he actually is.

725 words.

Oh wow that was badly written and very boring.

This whole story will probably be very short just a heads up.