*** This chapter is short, but it is setting up for the next one, which I promise will make up for it. ***
I wish I could say that was the only time Bucky lost himself when I was with him. Over the course of the next few months - ever since those men appeared in that alley - he grows progressively darker. His eyes begin to look duller, he speaks less and less, and every now and then, he hurts me.
It is almost always at night. He wakes up acting strange, and I'll have to raise my voice to a yell before he comes back. But it's more than just that. He won't tell me what is happening to him. Some days, when I question him too much or do anything physical that may be taken as aggressive like grabbing his arm, he'll lash out. It's usually his metal hand grabbing my wrist, shoving me away from him, or slamming against my abdomen. He'll catch himself, apologize, and leave the house. Every time. And I wonder if he wants to leave me.
As twisted as it sounds, I have no desire to leave him. I am no longer afraid of him; only what he becomes when his mind drifts away. I have to get him to come back. Because when he is himself, we are every bit as in love as we were before. He still smiles and laughs on good days, which I always crave to see. He still kisses me softly while I make breakfast in the morning, or when we are out and our eyes lock for a moment. He still holds me close to him on cold days. Sometimes both of us can nearly forget what happened that day, and what has been happening since then. But it never lasts long enough.
I know that something is wrong. Terribly wrong. But that only makes me care for him more. I want to help him, but I have no clue what I can do since I know nothing about what is happening. So I don't leave him. I just cover up the bruises and pretend things are normal.
I wouldn't say our relationship is abusive in any way. I mean, a few bruises are not too serious, right? Especially when he is unable to control it.
He is more hurt by what he has done than I am. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me, when he refuses to sleep beside me on nights when he knows it's bad, when he furrows his eyebrows in a mixture of anger and sadness after noticing a bruise he hasn't seen before.
I am afraid he will leave me, that he will claim it is for my own safety.
But he never does.
Something much worse happens.
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Ready to Comply: A Bucky Barnes Fanfic
FanfictionJames Buchanan Barnes came into Sophina Sky's life at a time when she needed him most. She believes he saved her from the life of isolation she had become accustomed to, since she did not have much of a family and was never good at making friends. W...
