Ready to Comply: A Bucky Barnes Fanfic

Nine ~ A Good Morning with a Good Man

*** Another long one, but if you were waiting for more romance it will be worth the read. ;) ***

It is six months after Bucky and I first met. It is early morning, and I stretch and climb clumsily out of bed. I have no reason to be quiet this time, as Bucky is as far on the other side as he can get, lying facing the other way, still in a fitful sleep. Last night he had refused to lay close to me, with his arms around me as I prefer. He must be getting worse, because this was the third night in a row he had done this. I miss his gentle hands, the warmth of his body pressed against mine, his breath heated against my neck when he speaks softly to me at night. I fear he is growing more distant even during the day. But I try not to push him, because I know that will only make it worse.

I sit on the edge of the bed and watch him sleep for a few moments. His breathing is faster than normal, and every few seconds he flinches as if he is having a bad dream. I sigh and walk into the kitchen. I know better than to try to wake him.

It is drizzling lightly outside, and I decide today will be a lazy day. Instead of making breakfast, I sit on the couch and read for a while, waiting for Bucky to wake up. Eventually I hear him rise, and moments later he walks quietly into the living room. I look at him and smile as he walks by me toward the kitchen. He gives a weak smile back and mutters a "good morning". He looks into the fridge for a moment, and I can't help but watch him affectionately as he wanders around the kitchen trying to find something to eat. I think back to the days we would spend in the house together, without a care in the world, and my heart aches. I remember when would be on the couch, and he would lay his head in my lap, and I would run my hands through his hair as we talked. Right now he looks tired and he still has bed hair, and I long for him to spend one day with me the way we were before, pretending nothing had changed.

"Bucky," I say softly, and he catches the tone of my voice and turns around, looking at me with worried eyes.

"What is it, Soph?" he asks.

"I was wondering... could we take a day off from looking for work or running errands, and just be here, and see if maybe we can have... a normal, relaxed day?"

A mixture of shock and pain comes ac9ross his face, and my heart lurches as I wait for him to respond. He looks like he is going to say no, but then his face changes, and I see that light in his eye that I only get to see occasionally. The affection in both his look and his voice and he starts to smile has me feeling dizzy with excitement.

"Of course I'll stay, Sophie."

And he walks slowly over to the couch, bends down on one knee, and takes my hand in his. He holds it with both of his hands and looks up into my eyes with that smile, and I can't help but smile back. He runs his finger in circles around the top of my hand, and looking down at it he says in a voice barely over a whisper:

"I'm really sorry about last night... about everything. I just... I wish it could go back to the way it was."

This is the first time he opened up to me in a long time, and it was as if he had read my mind. I feel a tear run down my cheek as I answer.

"I do too. I wish I knew how to make you better. But I will always love you, no matter how hard it is... for you to love me."

His eyes instantly flash back up to mine, and the intensity in his eyes surprises me. He looks almost angry.

"Sophie, how could you think it's hard for me to love you? I've loved you since the day I met you, and that hasn't changed in all these months I've known you."

"I love you too Bucky, so much. I just feel so useless here. Whatever you're going through, I just want to help. I'm so afraid that you won't come home one day, that you won't need me..."