Can I Love Again? (Boyxboy) *Book 1*

2

-Loki's POV-

I cross my arms on the table and bury my face into the crease of my arm before settling there, trying to ignore the loud cafeteria. I wouldn't have come here if I had anywhere else to go. It's either this place or the library, and Drake was in the library. I don't eat the school lunch so I just sleep or do homework while I'm in here. I did my homework this morning during homeroom, so sleeping is my only option.
"I see you're not eating again."
I scoff at the voice and tell him to go away. Of course, he does the exact opposite and takes a seat right across from me.
"What's wrong?"
I grit my teeth.
"Loki, I'm just-"
"No. Just stop talking and, please, just leave me alone." He's only talking to me because his friends aren't here yet and there is almost nobody in the lunchroom so far.
"Loki, I thought we were-"
"Friends? We haven't been friends for almost three years now." I finally lift my head to glare at him. "And you fucking know why." Before I start to cry or even hit him, I pull up the brakes on my wheelchair and leave, not wanting to deal with him today. I continue on my way to the bathroom. Once inside, I finally let the tears fall, but my face stays it's usual, emotionless. I wipe the tears as they fall and just laugh at myself. "I'm so pathetic."
* * * * * *
When I got home, my dad was the only one here and he was already starting on dinner. He's what you'd call a stay at home dad. He works from home. A book editor. He visits the office maybe once a month, if ever, but other than that, the only time he actually leaves the house is to get groceries or party supplies.
When my sister gets home, she asks my dad why he's making dinner so early.
"We are having people over for dinner." Oh, god.
"Oh, cool. The new neighbors across the street, right? They got kids?" She asks.
"Yeah. They have two sons and a daughter." Great. They're probably the same age and will be going to our school. And guess who's gonna be bullying me along with everyone else at school? Them.
"Is Thor coming home?" Most likely not.
"No, he's got a bunch of schoolwork he needs to finish." Liar.
Thor, my older brother. He never comes home. No, not the god of thunder, or whatever. We aren't some stupid comic book characters either. Those are just our names. Only me and Thor have our weird names because our sister was adopted and my mom and dad didn't have "cool" parents.
Hailey, my little sister, plops down beside me and leans on me, resting her head on my shoulder. "How was school, Loki?"
"Fine."
"Cool." She snuggles closer. "Want me to eat dinner in here with you?"
"No."
She hmph's. "I'm gonna anyways. Aren't you cold? It's freezing in here."
"Then go get a blanket or something. I'm not a freaking teddy bear."
She whines and gets up, going upstairs.
"Loki, we're all eating in there, so you're gonna have to deal with it," my dad says as he comes into the livingroom.
"I'll just eat in my room then." I was just about pull my wheelchair around to climb into it when I see my dad pull it out of my reach.
"Nope," is all he says before he takes it and puts it in my room. He comes back and pats my head softly before fixing the table and putting in the extensive middle piece. He goes to the kitchen and comes back with plates and silverware. He sets them on my lap and smiles. "You get to set the table."
I sigh and do as told. Just as I finish, my mom walks in and goes straight to the kitchen to greet my dad. She then yells up to Hailey, telling her that she's home, then comes over and greets me.
"How was school?" She asks.
"Fine," I reply the same I did for Hailey.
She kisses my forehead before going upstairs to change out of her work clothes. My mom's a lawyer. Not a famous one, but a good one. When she comes back down, the doorbell chimes and she goes to answer it. It's most likely the new neighbors. The likelihood of it being Thor is low.
I find out it's the neighbors when my mom invites them in. She leads them to the livingroom where I am and I begin to feel uncomfortable. I can't stand to greet them, so I must look like the most rude person on the planet. I look over and put on a fake smile, greeting them with a wave when my mom introduces me.
"This is my son, Loki. Loki, these are the Perd's." She introduces them all one by one and finally moves on to Hailey when she comes down to greet them.
My smile immediately drops when they turn away. I look back towards the fireplace that should really have a fire burning in it at the fact that it's pretty cold in here due to the weather cooling down for winter. We don't use the heating system in this house because the fire "brings us together as a family" as my mom always puts it.
As if reading my mind, Dad comes in and starts the fire, the house warming up soon after. Soon, everyone is seated and we all begin eating when my dad brings the food out and serves us all. It is spaghetti tonight. He also made a salad. I was the only person, aside from my father, who got salad on my plate. I only ate for about fifteen minutes before I lost my appetite. I ate a lot more salad than spaghetti, so I didn't have much of a full stomach.
When I didn't get up to help clear the table, I could see the judgemental looks as the other family glanced at me momentarily.
They probably don't know of my disability. My chair isn't in sight, so it couldn't be obvious. My dad probably hid it away for that very reason. That's so like my parents. Not wanting anyone to know that our family isn't perfect. Especially in first impressions.
Thor is the only one who never cared about my being in a wheelchair. Hailey doesn't like being near me in public too much and my parents never talk about it. Thor was the one to always play with me, push me around in the chair, be there for me, so when he moved out to live in the college dorms, I felt like he left me. He probably doesn't come home to visit anymore because he's finally grown tired of me.
When they come back, everyone joins in on a small conversation while I just sit and try to ignore it to the best of my abilities. I don't want to be here and everyone knows that. Only my family knows that I can't. As everyone is distracted, one of the sons, Chase, I think was his name, leans closer to me and says only loud enough for me to hear, "If you don't want to be here, I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind if you went to your room." He seems irritated with me.
"Believe me when I say if I could, I would," I tell him.
He looks me up and down with a snare then leans back into the cushion of the couch. Heh. And I was starting to think he was cute
What's crawled up his ass? First he wouldn't stop staring at me. Now, he doesn't want me in the same room?
When they finally leave, I almost beg my dad to bring me my wheelchair. He instead has Hailey do it and I wheel myself to my room, slamming the door shut and going to the bathroom.
I need to take a nice warm shower.