Can I Love Again? (Boyxboy) *Book 1*

10

-Loko's POV-
Chase has been "busy" a lot lately. Maybe he doesn't want to be friends anymore. We don't talk as much as we used to and I barely see him now.
Drake has been stuck to me like glue since the incident a couple weeks ago. He's seen my scars from recent times, but never that.
He stays over most nights, and at school, he refuses to leave me alone. In the past few weeks, he's ditched classes of his just to sit next to me in my own classes. It's odd, but I'm enjoying his company more and more as the days go on. I don't want him to feel like he's Chase's replacement even though I can't help but feel like he is.
"Are you done with question four?" I look up at him and nod. He smiles and nods back. "Good. Wanna take ten? I gotta use the restroom."
"Sure." He leaves me sitting on the floor and goes into my bathroom. I climb onto my bed and lay face down, exhausted from todays homework. The midterm is coming up for my Trigonometry class and I'm not the best at math. Actually doing the homework is ridiculously difficult. I've always done it so half-assed and was able to pass. Now, I don't think that'll fly. It's a good thing I have Drake to help me. He's not the best in math either, but he's better than me.
I feel the bed dip beside me and make no move to see who it is cause he speaks a second later.
"You're still feeling down about Chase, huh?" I nod into the blanket. "Then, why don't you talk to him?"
I turn my head a bit so he can hear me speak. "I've tried. He just brushed it off. He doesn't answer my texts or calls either. He wants nothing to do with me." And it sucks. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up yet I still did.

I feel his hand slip into mine and he entangles our fingers. I look at him with a questioning glance and he just smiles and squeezes my hand in his.

"You're gonna be okay, Loki. I'm here for you. I'll always be here."

I study his face to find any hint of him just joking. Nothing.
He's always been there when I needed him. More than anyone.
I rub the back of his hand with my thumb. "Thank you."
Suddenly, I feel something soft press against my lips. I realize they are Drake's lips pressed to mine and don't make a move to stop him as he deepens the kiss after a few seconds. I follow his lead as I kiss him back with the same intensity he gives me. Our tongues glide together, causing a shiver to run down my spine.
When we part for air, I notice that I had, at some point, climbed on top of him. We were now heaving chest to heaving chest. Jebus, how long had we been kissing? Wait. We kissed. Oh my goodness. Me and Drake just made out. I feel my face burn at the memory of what happened just seconds ago. I look down at his smiling face and my face gets even hotter.
"I've been wanting to do that for years," he confesses once we both catch our breath.
"W-Why didn't you say anything?"
He shrugs. "You weren't emotionally available."
I understand what he means. I still cry when I think about what happened between me and Ashton. "And I am now?"
He nods. "You were willing to forget about Ash and try something with Chase."
"But I told him I just wanted to be friends."
He chuckles. "Because you know he might end up hurting you how Ashton did."
I nod, agreeing with him without meaning to. Assuming he wants some sort of relationship with me, I ask, "And how are you different?"
The space between our faces decreases so much that we are now an inch from kissing again. "You know I won't leave." Our noses brush, but he doesn't make a move to kiss me. "You really don't have a reason to say no, so why don't we just give it a try?" I open my mouth to retort with a reason I most likely can't back up, but he speaks again. "You can't say that kiss was nothing."
He's right. I can't. Not after kissing him back the way I did.
After a long enough silence, of us just staring at each other, studying the others face, he says, "It's fine if you can't decide now. I don't care how long it takes. I'll wait."
I nod. I love that he understands. He always does. "Thanks."
"Wanna finish our homework?" He suggests.
I let out a chuckle and nod. "Yeah."
* * * * * *
"So, you and Drake?"
My chest tightens at the hint of jealousy in his voice. I look up from my homework and look at him in confusion. "What about it?"
He scoffs. "You just about hated the guy a few months ago. What changed?"
"What's it to you?"
"I'm your friend, Loki. It's natural that I'm curious about this."
I almost laugh. "Have you not realized that we haven't spoken in over 3 months? Our friendship was over the second you decided to avoid and ignore me. I don't need that in my life again, Chase."
He steps back from the table with a hurt expression. He says nothing as he gives me a final once over before walking away.
* * * * * *
He pushes my wheelchair to the corner of the room before climbing onto my bed and laying beside me. "He honestly didn't realize that you guys weren't friends anymore."
I scoff. "What makes you think that?"
He shrugs. "I could tell by how sad he looked when he told me to take care of you."
I hum. He is reminding me of Ashton. Ashton, too, "forgot" that we were no longer friends. They must have been in on it together. That's so cruel.
Drake's hand caresses my cheek and I look at him. "Don't think about it too much. He'll come around. You just gotta give him some time to get used to this. He was in love with you after all. Don't expect he'll be totally fine with it."
I nod in agreement and scoot closer to him.
He places an arm beneath my head and the other takes my hand and entwines our fingers. "Let's go on a date tomorrow," he suggests.
I hum. "Where to?"
He chuckles. "I have no idea."
"Drake, your grandma came by. She wants you to be home by 6," my sister yells through the door.
"Okay. Thanks!" He sighs and pulls me a bit closer. "Maybe we can go to the fair?"
I nod against his shoulder. "That sounds like fun."
We stay like that, talking occasionally. When it was time for him to go, he gives me a short, sweet kiss before reminding me to dress warm tomorrow. Once I hear the front door close, I flop back on my pillows and feel my lips tug into a smile. What did change? I wouldn't say I hated him before. More like he was just very clingy and annoying. I know now that it was because of his feelings for me. My feelings toward him have evolved, but he is still really annoying. Because of my newly developed feelings for him, the clingy thing is actually amazing. I couldn't ask for anyone else, honestly.
Against my better judgement, Chase pops into my head.
I'll get over him eventually. Hopefully.