Dreams Turned into Reality

Confessions

Hannah's POV

"Ok. You leave me no choice."Niall sighed with that he knocked down my door. He bent down to pick up food he set on the floor and walked in.

"Will you please tell me why you locking yourself in your room and not eating? Hannah please tell me you didn't self-harm again" he questioned.

"Niall... How did you know about that?"

"Ry told me. Now please tell me. Tell me why. Please?" he said he and I were on the verge of tears. I saw him looking at my wrists and I quickly pulled my sweater down to cover my arms.

"I can't do that." I said with a single tear falling.

"Why?" He walked over and sat down on my bed. He reached for my arms and I yanked them away. He tried again; he had a tight grip yet soft so he wouldn't hurt me even more. I didn't have the strength to pull them away, he started pulling up my sleeves and I look away to ashamed to look him in the eyes. Tears were falling freely. "Why would such a beautiful girl like you, Hannah, do this."

I shrugged. "No. Tell me why and look at me." He said seriously yet softly.

"BECAUSE IT HELPS! It helps me" I say breaking down even more.

"How does it help you?!?! How does cutting yourself and starving your self help?" He says and I stay quiet. "It doesn't Hannah. It doesn't."

"Please tell me why your doing this."

I breathed in shakily "I don't like death."

"Love, by doing this you could die." I nodded to show I know I could.

"Hearing that Jonathan's grandmother died triggered memories that I hate. When I was 12 my grandfather, my two friends, Kyla and Jess, and my uncle died. My grandpa died of heart attack, Kyla and Jess were hit by a car while walking home from school, and my uncle died in Afghanistan on active duty." I took a deep breath. "Then at school I was bullied 'cause I was "weird" and "different". People told me to kill myself so many times it was horrible. I mean I still get bullied but I've learned to handle the bullying. It's just then I couldn't. So when Jonathan told us his grandmother died it brought back all those memories."

"But why are you cutting and not eating now?" He asked

"Because that was how I learned how to deal with death."

"Love, will you please stop? Will you please eat?" I just shrugged.

" may I please use your bathroom?" He asked and I nodded.

I noticed he had brought pickles and hot Cheetos; my favorite (a/n: I totally recommend it. Its so good.). I'm so hungry I haven't ate hardly anything. Normally when Rylie wasn't here or in the shower I would sneak out and get a roll of ritz crackers. I reached over and grabbed the tray of food and did something I hadn't done in a while. I ate. And I ate a lot.

Niall's POV

I asked to use her bathroom but not to go to the bathroom; to find her blades I looked every where except one place. I lifted up the purple fuzzy toilet seat cover and I found 5 small blades I grabbed them quickly and threw them in the toilet and flushed. I went out and washed my hands to make it seem like I actually went to bathroom. When I opened the door I see Hannah eating the pickles and Hot Cheetos I brought her. I just stood there watching her eat.

I finally went completely into her room and sat next to her on her bed. She had ate all of the sliced pickles and half of the Hot Cheeto bag. I smiled at the fact that she's eating again. "Are you still hungry, love?" I asked her and she nods shyly.